15 ridiculous dream ways to use Memorial Stadium

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Oh, Memorial Stadium. The site of a truly disheartening fall football season. After such an unfortunate season, it’s clear that the newly renovated stadium is not living up its full potential. The well-known UC Berkeley attraction has seen less and less attendance with our team’s performance tanking recently, so we decided to think of other ways it could be useful. With its 63,000-person capacity and space, there’s no end to the variety of epic events that could take place here. From realistic to ridiculous, we’ve collected some of our favorite ways to breathe new life into the stadium.

1. Quidditch

A big empty patch of ground with grass on it? Sounds like a great place to play Quidditch! The grass can be a great cushion in case we fall off our brooms, and the 63,000 seats can be filled with people who love the game. Maybe even Viktor Krum will stop by.

2. Skateboard park

Instead of crying over watching our team play, let’s watch wicked skateboarding tricks in our brand-new skateboard park. We could install huge skating ramps in the stadium, so bikers and skaters can come practice their crazy tricks, and we can come watch with popcorn.

3. Movie theater

Speaking of popcorn, another great way to use Memorial Stadium would be for movies! We could get a giant projector and screen movies on the field. Think about how fun it would be to watch a movie with thousands of your closest friends on a rare warm Berkeley night.

4. Dance parties

What do you do with a giant empty area? You install a giant dance floor on it and have a dance party. The big area would allow people to really show off crazy dance moves. Just think about the potential dance-offs that can happen on 14 acres.

5. Ice skating rink

OK, so we know this will be a little harder to achieve because we live in the Bay Area where the coldest it gets is 40 degrees, but hey, if San Francisco can do it for the holidays, we can do it for the hell of it. The first entry in this list was a game typically played on flying brooms, so we can achieve anything. An ice skating rink that large would give you plenty of room to fall, get back up again and reminisce on what could have been if you’d only stuck with those skating lessons when you were 5 years old.

6. Carnivals

The stadium is definitely big enough to hold a carnival. It would be great fun to have roller coasters and other rides come to UC Berkeley. The field could play host to a number of rides, performances and food vendors. Just imagine riding an eight-foot-tall Space Mountain that gives us the perfect panoramic view of the Bay.

7. Circus

Watching an elephant balance on a ball might be the perfect sight at Memorial Stadium. A trapeze act, ringmaster and maybe even a bear would be the attractions the stadium needs to draw some major ticket sales. And besides, when was the last time you were at a circus?

8. Beach

The weather’s been so nice lately, all anyone wants to do is take some time to enjoy it. A prime way to do this would be by converting the stadium into a giant beach. We’re thinking kiddie pools, tons (literally) of sand and lounge chairs set up in the student section for tanning. A volleyball net or two set up on the field would really round out the whole experience.

9. Slip ‘n Slide

Another favorite way to enjoy the warm weather is the infamous Slip ‘n Slide. Though the stadium isn’t exactly a hill, with enough water and a Slip ‘n Slide the length of a football field, we think it would be pretty hard to resist.

10. Gladiator fights

UC Berkeley is a school that truly respect traditions. Very few colleges have cooler traditions than we do, and very few cultures have cooler traditions than the ancient Romans.  Memorial Stadium is a great place to watch as action of epic proportions unfolds. What could be more epic than watching gladiator fights and cheering on your favorite warrior? The cannon firing would add a dash of authenticity to the fighting.

11. Picnic

We’re thinking this could be the time to bust out all the stops for the world’s largest picnic. Baskets, food, blankets and games would all be present at this giant picnic extravaganza. With a few local bands playing on a stage in the end zone, this could be the perfect environment for a relaxing afternoon of eating with friends.

12. Balloons

There’s no real logic behind this one other than the fact that it would just be really, really cool to fill the entire Memorial Stadium with balloons.

13. Maze

When Halloween rolls around, the field could be converted into a spooky corn maze difficult enough to confuse even the most intuitive architecture students. The sheer size alone would intimidate the faint of heart, making this maze one to remember.

14. Ball pit

If you were anything like us when you were a kid, the best part of McDonald’s was always the ball pit. A giant ball pit in the middle of the stadium would be a fun way to spend some time letting off steam by pretending to be a child again. Just be sure you don’t get lost.

15. Bubble wrap

Everyone loves to pop bubble wrap, but there never seems to be enough of it to truly satisfy the urge. A football field where every inch of ground is completely covered with bubble wrap would be the definition of living the dream. Though the deafening sounds of popping would be magnified by the stadium, we think it would still be worth it.

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Contact Mina Abdullah and Rachel Feder at [email protected].