Quiz: should you be worried about school yet?

Haley Talbot/Staff

Spring break is, sadly, over. Have you fallen behind?

  1. 1. What’s your current stress level?
    1. 1. To say I am stressed is an UNDERSTATEMENT.
    2. 2. Calm. Internally screaming but calm.
    3. 3. Same old, same old. Not particularly fazed.
    4. 4. I thrive off of stress!
    5. 5. Three assignments are due tomorrow, and I’m watching a TV show. What is wrong with me?
  2. 2. What did you do last night?
    1. 1. Had three cups of coffee then cried when I realized I was too caffeinated to focus on anything.
    2. 2. Finished some last-minute reading.
    3. 3. Finished an assignment due today and wrote a cover letter for an internship.
    4. 4. Attended three student club meetings, sent out five resumes and finished an essay while listening to classical music. Called my mom too.
    5. 5. Marathoned the sixth season of “Mad Men” and wrote an angry Facebook status after watching the “How I Met Your Mother” finale (seriously, WTF??).
  3. 3. When did you last do laundry?
    2. 2. Uh … two weeks ago? Don’t judge.
    3. 3. A week ago.
    4. 4. Yesterday.
    5. 5. I literally have no idea. I turn my underwear inside out so I can keep wearing it.
  4. 4. What meme do you most identify with?
    1. 1. Paranoid parrot
    2. 2. Good Guy Greg / Good Girl Gina
    3. 3. Doge
    4. 4. Success kid
    5. 5. Foul bachelor/bachelorette frog
  5. 5. What Harry Potter character do you most identify with?
    1. 1. Dobby
    2. 2. Ron Weasley
    3. 3. Cedric Diggory
    4. 4. Hermione Granger
    5. 5. Moaning Myrtle
  6. 6. How does your room look right now?
    1. 1. Books and paper everywhere. Where’s my midterm cheat sheet??
    2. 2. I should probably vacuum. And the outfit I wore yesterday is currently on the floor.
    3. 3. It’s pretty clean.
    4. 4. Everything is neat and organized. My textbooks are all color-coded, and I vacuum my bedsheets.
    5. 5. I have to climb a laundry pile to get to my bed. Ooh, is that pizza?!
  7. 7. Favorite place to study?
    1. 1. Main Stacks
    2. 2. Cafe Milano
    3. 3. Free Speech Movement Cafe
    4. 4. I alternate between the C.V. Starr East Asian Library, Doe Library’s North Reading Room, Qualcomm Cafe, Bechtel Hall, Main Stacks …
    5. 5. Uh … my bed? So comfy … zzz …
  8. 8. Which movie have you been meaning to see but haven’t seen yet?
    2. 2. A documentary for my anthropology class … and “Her”
    3. 3. “12 Years a Slave”
    4. 4. All the Oscar nominees
    5. 5. … “Frozen” (dodges rotten fruit)
  9. 9. Favorite late-night snack?
    1. 1. My salty tears.
    2. 2. Chips and salsa.
    3. 3. Don’t like to eat late at night. Maybe some tea with milk.
    4. 4. Clif Bars or fruit.
    5. 5. As long as it has cheese.
  10. 10.
    1. 1. You got: You need to chill the frick out because you are being sucked into a black hole of stress, and your mind has started to spaghetti-fy. Yes, you have a lot on your plate, and you’re scrambling to keep up, but you should take some time to take a deep breath and let your friends take care of you. Pros: You know you’re behind and are motivated to catch up. Cons: Your stress level is probably making it extremely difficult to actually accomplish that task. You should really calm down. Do you want some tea? I’ll make you some tea. Here — hug this stuffed animal. His name is Sheldon. It’ll be OK.
    2. 2. You got: You need to organize a study night because you’ve started to fall behind. Don’t worry — your grade is still salvageable, and it looks like you’re aware of your academic shortcomings. But procrastinate any longer, and you’ll find yourself in a mess. Keep your chin up and march ever onward … or whatever. Maybe listen to some motivating music the next time you sit down to study for a midterm? “The Fellowship of the Ring” soundtrack is pretty good for that.
    3. 3. You got: You are on the right track — and possibly the most Zen A-student I know. How the hell do you do it? You’re disciplined, and stress never seems to affect you the way it does other people. You rarely procrastinate, and in fact, you even like to work ahead. You’re that miraculous kid who reads the textbook ahead of everyone else and likes to geek out with professors during office hours. Good job. You win. Keep doing you.
    4. 4. You got: You are a terrifying force of nature. You are academically driven to the point of mania. When you’re not studying, you’re sending out resumes for internships or fliering for a club or nonprofit organization. You don’t need to be worried about school right now, but maybe you should slow down lest you burn yourself out? We’re a little worried about you. You know, it’s OK to take some time off and watch an episode of “House of Cards” on Netflix. Seriously, you deserve it. Just one won’t kill you.
    5. 5. You got: You are drowning right now! How can you be so calm? This is an intervention. You are willfully ignoring your impending academic doom. Things aren’t all that bad though — if you get your shit together RIGHT NOW. Seriously, go to a library, and stay there until it closes. No, you may not watch another episode. Close the Netflix tab. I said close it! Call a friend with some academic balls so he or she can monitor you while you study. Do what you must to survive this semester. I don’t care if you have to wear blinders on either side of your head to keep out distractions.

Contact Lilia Vega at [email protected].

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