The quintessential UC Berkeley student’s Facebook news feed

Marco Paköeningrat on Flickr/Courtesy

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Let’s face it; you have a love-hate relationship with Facebook. For one, it keeps you awake during class. For another, it is probably the reason you don’t know what is going on in class half of the time. It is your go-to site for quick entertainment and the fuel for your procrastination habits. Go on Facebook often enough, and you will notice the saturation of your news feed with similar posts.

 Here is a compilation of typical posts on every UC Berkeley student’s Facebook news feed.

1. The promotion of an organization/event


Usually accompanied by posters as profile pictures and invitations to events you have no interest in.

2. The loss of keys or Cal IDs

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Every. Single. Day.

3. The anecdotes about life in the Berkeley community

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Whether it is by Humans of Berkeley, Berkeley Story Collective, I, Too, Am Berkeley or any other organizations, these stories make your day a little bit better.

4. The gloating pictures by friends on holiday

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You stare at their pictures with extreme envy while contemplating starting a petition to extend spring break to two weeks. You realize this would entail more work than an extra week of break would bring then resign yourself to finished that eight-page paper due the next day.

5. The long social/political rant

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It IS UC Berkeley you attend, after all.

6. The anxious post about classes

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Thanks to posts like these, you probably already know the pros and cons of taking classes completely irrelevant to you major by now.

7. The hilarious one-liner

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Daily wisecracks from a hilariously creative person. You probably enjoy these so much you wished you thought of them.

8. The abundance of tagged photos

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We get it. You go to a lot of events while we sit here at look at your photos. Thanks for rubbing it in.

9. The one about love

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Or at least college love. Usually by that one friend whom you love but want to strangle for his/her incessant need to share every cheesy detail of his/her relationship with the world. Meanwhile, some of us are just struggling to get a lunch buddy over here …

 10. The one that confuses you

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Every time you see a post like this, you ponder upon the need to share something … without actually sharing anything.

11. The hacked status

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We may be at the best public school in the world, but some of us still can’t remember to log out of our Facebook accounts after using someone else’s laptop. But hey, all in the name of good entertainment for our friends!

Image Sources: StatusClone

Contact Sue Ying at [email protected].