You know it’s coming. You’ve been dreading it since the start of the semester, and now it’s here: Tax Day. The day accountants love and rich people hate. For college students, however, filing taxes is just another opportunity to display their impressive procrastination skills. There is a plethora of information that can be found online on filing taxes, so we at the Clog decided to just make a list of questions that you might have about them.
1. Do I need to file taxes?
Do you actually need to file taxes? Yes, you probably do. You’re no Warren Buffet — you barely make enough to afford CREAM on weekends — yet taxes are still a real thing.
2. Will other people know?
Time to venture out for help. You ask your friends if you’ll need to actually file taxes. But they seem just as confused as you. You even decide to expand your inquiries further and ask anyone who’ll listen until you notice that people start to walk in the other direction when they see you coming. You decide to change your approach.
3. Maybe it’s on Yahoo! Answers?
Like with all important questions in life, you decide to look it up on Yahoo! Answers. After a 10-minute perusal, you find out from “badboi2321” that you actually do have to file taxes. You also learn from him you’re an idiot for not knowing this.
4. I have enough time, right?
After learning you have to do it, you look up the date and find out that it’s a month away. You decide to relax. You can do it over spring break; you’re not really going anywhere, so you’ll get this done. But somehow, all of spring break slips away (binge-watching “Mad Men”).
5. Where did the time go?
Now, the second week of April is starting, and you’re really beginning to panic. You don’t want to go to jail for tax evasion — that would really lower your future job prospects. So you begin to worry.
6. Wait, how do we actually do it?
You realize you don’t really know what filing taxes is about. You have no idea how to go about it. What is a W-2?
7. Will other people know?
Again, you decide to follow your peers. You question your friends about the process and find that this time, they seem to know quite a bit. They seem to have actually gotten stuff done over the spring break (who knew?).
8. Can they do it for me?
Since everybody seems to know more about it than you, you beg your friends to actually do it for you. This doesn’t work out well. People are decidedly less likely to grant you favors when they have midterms coming up.
9. Will my parents know?
You finally decide to pull out the big guns. You call your parents and beg them for help. After receiving a 30-minute scolding about how long it’s been since you last called, you hear an hourlong lecture about why you put it off for so late. After you put the phone down, you realize you’ve lost almost two hours of your time and haven’t gotten any further in your tax process.
10. I can do it! I can do it! Can I?
You’re down to the last resort: actually filing your taxes yourself. You stay up the whole night researching different forms and learn how to file them. You finally get it done.
11. We actually have to mail the form? What happened to email?
Now the only thing left is to mail all your forms. Because you finished them so late, you spend the whole of Tuesday in the post office line trying to make the 5 p.m. deadline. At least you’re in good company, surrounded by people who — like you — didn’t do their taxes until the last moment.
12. Facebook meltdown?
Like anything that happens in your life, you decide to inform other people about the arduous process. Keep an eye out on Tuesday for interesting Facebook statuses like, “Filed my taxes for the first time, feel like such an adult,” or, “Waited in line at the post office for 5 hours!!!!! Still didn’t make the deadline!” or, “Taxes are the Government’s way of controlling us. I did not file in protest.” Relax there, buddy.
Contact Mina Abdullah at [email protected].