As the muggy and torturous heat of the Indian summer beats down on you, and your butt sweat sticks you to your chair at Caffe Strada, you begin to wonder if this is the apocalypse and heat from the fiery pits of hell has escaped into Berkeley. 90-degree days are hot in July, but in October — when your brain is hooked on jeans, falling autumn leaves and pumpkin spice lattes — it’s downright unbearable. Because so much of student housing in the area leaves most undergraduates without air conditioning, it can seem like there’s no escape from the evil, evil sun. Luckily for you, we at the Clog came up with five extra-creative ways you can conquer the current temperatures.
1. Do the ice bucket challenge. Repeatedly.
We don’t really care that you most likely completed the challenge two months ago or that the campaign has almost entirely wound down. If you really need to cool off, you might as well do it while raising awareness for amyotrophic lateral sclerosis research — bonus points if you recycle water from the ocean or some other source of naturally icy water! And if one round at the challenge just isn’t enough to cool you down, just say you “messed up the footage” on your last recording of the challenge and have to do it again.
2. Pretend you live inside the Emeryville Target.
Let’s be real: Target is basically heaven. There’s furniture to relax on, video games to demo if you need a break from that problem set, plenty of Starbucks to keep you energized and a cafe, so you never even have to leave the store for meals — and air conditioning. We think that’s the biggest takeaway here. You can spend just about the entire day there, and it’s only one F-line bus ride away. Speaking of buses …
3. Ride AC transit … for the entire day.
During our investigation the other day, we took a trip on the 52 and realized something amazing: the buses are air-conditioned. Your apartment isn’t, but the AC transit buses are equipped with AC of their own. Doesn’t it almost seem wrong to not take advantage of that? And would anyone actually notice if you just spent the day catching up on your history reading in the back of the 1R? Besides, you’re traveling all around Berkeley or maybe to the rest of the county or San Francisco. It’s basically adventuring.
4. Explore a potential career as a professional ice cream taster.
Don’t lie and pretend you haven’t always wanted to tour Berkeley this way. Few things are more satisfying in extreme heat than ice-cold, creamy, sweet treats, so you might as well make the most of the sweltering weather by eating your weight’s worth in ice cream. Is your day sampling from CREAM, Ici Ice Cream, John’s Ice Cream and Ben & Jerry’s really a waste of money and calories if it’s for professional development?
5. Become one with your refrigerator.
Who needs air conditioning when you can just attempt to crawl inside your mini fridge? Think of it as a challenge — the first roommate to successfully fit inside the frame wins five extra minutes there. At the very least, there’s no heat relief quite like standing with your backside facing the open refrigerator door. If you can climb in, close the refrigerator door and get some reading done in there, you may or may not have just won at college.
Contact Kelsi Krandel at [email protected].