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The do's and don't's of pleasing your security monitors

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OCTOBER 12, 2014

In most of the dorms freshman year, you’re going to experience your first awkward encounter with a security monitor — you know, the person behind the desk annoyingly asking for your Cal 1 Card after 6 p.m. As frustrating as it is, try not to be hostile or rude. They’re just trying to do their job. Security monitors are there to help keep you safe by keeping the weirdos out of the dorms. Living in a city like Berkeley, this is very much needed.

At first, it may take some time to adjust to having to sign in to your home at the end of the day, especially if they’re the only thing between you and your bed. But in time, you’ll get used to the flow of college life and will probably forget about the security monitor. But they won’t forget you — they’re still there. They still see you every single day … and getting on their good side may be more important that you think.

If you want them to love you, do these three simple things:

1. Smile, make eye contact and say hey.

Don’t forget that security monitors are people, too. They have enough people ignore their “hey” ‘s and “how are you” ‘s. Don’t be that person. Say hi.

2. Bring them food or a drink. 

Security monitors are always hungry. Always. If you bring them food, they’ll definitely remember you — and love you.

3. Remember their name or something about them. 

Remember when they were stressing over a midterm or stuck at work while sick? Ask how they’re feeling or how that midterm went … and watch how excited they’ll get about it.

On the other hand, if you want your security monitor to absolutely hate your guts, do these three insanely annoying things:

1. Throw your ID down on the table instead of handing it to them. 

They hate this because it’s plain degrading. They aren’t your servants — hand them the damn card.

2. Sign in 30 people at once … or one person every five minutes. 

While you’re at it, you might as well brag about your vibrant social life while they scramble to sign in all of your friends.

3. Expect them to know the answer to every single one of your questions.  

No, we don’t know why your package isn’t here yet or when your resident assistant is coming back. Try asking someone who cares.

What’s the point of impressing your security monitor? Well, if you do, they’re probably going to be more willing to help you out when you forget your Cal 1 Card or lock yourself out of your room … right after you got out of the shower.

Image Source: GIF 1, GIF 2, GIF 3, GIF 4, GIF 5, GIF 6

Contact Kristen McFadden at [email protected].

OCTOBER 12, 2014

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