Can’t bear it any longer

Note: the following is a work of satire. That’s it. I’m officially jumping off the blue-and-gold ship. Count me out. When Cal started off 4-1, I wanted to believe. Sonny Dykes had turned the program around. Quarterback Jared Goff looked like the best passer Cal had put on the field
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Cal men’s water polo survives two shootouts

Although this weekend had some slight scares for Cal water polo, the Bears came away 2-0 in their two matches on the road in Southern California. Cal’s match against No. 11 Pepperdine on Saturday was a relatively comfortable 15-6 win, but Sunday’s matchup against No. 10 UC Irvine was a
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Stanford blanks Cal field hockey, 4-0

Less than two minutes into the game, No. 3 Stanford field hockey fans cheered in surprise as the ball made its way off a Cal stick and into the back of the Bears’ net — an own-goal for the Bears — creating a 1-0 lead for Stanford early in the
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