The Thanksgiving holiday is a wonderful hiatus from the hectic stress of college life, where you can go spend some time with your family back in your childhood home. But after three months of your absence, your family will feel the need to bombard you with questions to make sure you have not become a complete mess. The following are some examples of the lies we all tell in response to these questions.
1. Yeah, I am getting enough sleep, Mom.
2. No, I am not just living off of ramen and frozen meals.
3. Classes are no problem this semester, and I study all the time, Dad.
4. Have I been Netflix-binging? Who has time for that when I am so busy being a well-rounded and accomplished grownup? No, no, I spend my free time going to the gym and cooking up gourmet dishes.
5. And, of course, I do not spend hours staring at my computer scrolling through social media accounts. That’s silly! I’ve got studying and chores to do!
6. No, I have never been to a party. My friends and I bake for fun. We’re going to try out that vegan vanilla chai cupcakes recipe next week. I’m almost officially at gourmet pastry chef status (see No. 4).
7. Yes, Grandma, I am seeing someone. Why can’t he come down to meet the family? Erm … well, he lives too far away to make the trip.
8. Alternatively — no, Grandma, there are absolutely no boys in my life. I’m a chaste angel.
9. I’m managing my money very well! It all goes toward the freshest vegetables and necessary school supplies — definitely not junk food or those new boots I’ve been wanting.
10. Oh no, I never skip class! I intend to soak up every word of the knowledge that my professors share with me.
11. I am basically the perfect student or child.
Contact Sravya Singampalli at [email protected].