How to put down that phone in 11 easy steps

In an era of selfies and stalking, it’s quite difficult to put away your phone. But when you have midterms to study for and papers to write, the phone must go.

Many of you may have tried to put your phone away before in an attempt to get off Facebook and into your work. So you must already realize how difficult it actually is. Of course, with the computer in front of you, you can just log back in and tweet from your laptop. But at least you can’t continue Snapchatting selfies in all sorts of deformed animal faces.

Here’s how to put that phone away:

  1. Go on your social media accounts and check all your notifications. Then do it once more, because of course you could have gotten new Snapchats and likes in the time you were checking other accounts.
  2. Send that “TTYL” text to end all of your current conversations. Briefly explain how annoyed you are and how you only need a “C to get a degree” anyway. Here, also mention all other careers you could have if you decide to drop out of school. Say your final goodbyes.
  3. Check all of your social media feeds one last time. Seriously, last time.
  4. Now turn your phone off and put it in your closet.
  5. The next step is obviously to go get a snack.
  6. OK, now that your phone is off and you have something to munch on, turn on your laptop and sign onto Facebook and Twitter. Make sure you have caught up on what you missed in the last three minutes.
  7. Do four minutes of work. Frustrated, get up and turn your phone on. Check your texts, notifications and feed for the next three hours.
  8. Cry.
  9. Throw your phone out the window.
  10. Hide under your covers.
  11. Cry some more.

Good luck and go bears!

Contact Sareen Habeshian at [email protected].