5 reasons to wish you were Irish

Faith Goble/Creative Commons

In the spirit of St. Patrick’s Day, here at the Clog, we find ourselves opting for all things green: from dusting off our seldom worn green clogs to delighting over a dish of lime sherbet and feeding our childhood nostalgia with “The Luck of the Irish.” But there’s got to be more to this holiday than hunting for four-leaf clovers and pretending we aren’t utterly disturbed by the mess that food coloring makes of our digestive track. So we’ve done some sleuthing. Turns out the holiday originally served to celebrate the patron saint of Ireland, St. Patrick. WHO KNEW???

What’s more? Not only does this “feast day” entail festivities, parades and generally widespread tomfoolery throughout Ireland, it also marks the beginning of pea-planting season! But alas, we sprung into this world 100% not Irish. And while we will have to make do fraudulently engaging in the crazy antics of St. Patrick’s Day, we can’t help but wonder what could have been. After all, the Irish might just have it better … and here are five reasons why:

1. Ghostly pallor

We all have that friend with skin so light it literally blinds us, unless of course it’s mid-August and has taken up an orange sheen from an over-saturation of freckles. While many look upon this genetic predisposition of the Irish unfavorably, well, those people are wrong.

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2. Great food

Who doesn’t love a good excuse to eat potatoes? For that matter, who doesn’t love a good excuse to eat cabbage and blood pudding and rashers and our favorite, “skirts and kidneys“?

3. Even better hair

For all the hate gingers have to endure, we sure wish we had the fiery locks of Ron Weasley. Nowadays it takes all but a satanic ‘do to command a crowd, especially while trying to give a class announcement.

4. The best dance moves

Throwback to “The Luck of The Irish”s “Saint of the Step.” We knew right then and there we’d hit it big one day as an Irish dancer. Too bad our feet are more like hooves. We also only wear clogs.

5. Not to mention, their homeland looks like this

No explanation necessary. But the rugged yet lush Irish landscape truly is one of a kind. Add to it Ireland’s ancient castles and crumbling fortresses, and you’ve got one of the most breathtaking destinations across the globe.

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While we my not be Irish, we can still appreciate this nation’s culture and beauty, especially with the excuse to eat and be merry alongside the best Irish men and women this Saint Patrick’s day. So who cares that we never got the hang of Irish dancing. We don’t need to have flaming red hair or translucent skin to kick it like a leprechaun. All we need is some green food coloring and maybe a little luck, and even us lowly Cloggers can have a happy St. Patrick’s Day!

Media Sources: giphy, Lisby, giphy2tumblr, giphy3, Tom Fahy

Contact Christina Fossum at [email protected].