When spring rolls around, humankind is inexplicably struck with an uncontrollable urge to clean. Perhaps it’s the restored daylight or the fresh spring air that makes us so motivated. Whatever it is, while you’re cleaning out your life this spring, make sure not to skimp on your closet. We at the Clog have come up with a guide to help you turn your bursting-at-the-seams wardrobe into a streamlined, sexy dream.
Step one: sorting your clothes
The first step is to gather all of your clothes into a common area and separate them into three categories. We suggest eschewing the typical wardrobe sorting categories of keep, donate and trash in favor of a more effective system — namely a system of old-school emoticons.
Category one, demarcated by the overenthusiastic emoji, includes your favorite articles of clothing. These are the pieces that make you feel like the sexy badass you are. Think your favorite bro tanks, dresses and other basics that are important to make up a killer wardrobe. Remember not to include anything too worn-down or dated in this category.
The ambivalent category is for clothes that you may or may not like and that you may or may never wear again. You know those clothes — the ones that were favorites back in the day but have since grown old and faded. You convince yourself that you need to keep these pieces around because you *will* wear them sometime soon, even though it’s been months since they’ve last seen sunlight.
This emoji expresses a feeling of horror, as in: “What was that atrocious nightmare ever doing in my closet to begin with?” These are the clothes that you have outgrown, that no longer fit your style or that you are just plain through with.
Step two: making decisions
Now that you have clothes sorted into the ambivalent category, it is time to make some tough decisions about what stays and what goes. The only effective way to do so is to try them on. That’s right — try on every last piece. Put on your favorite movie shopping montage’s background music and have yourself a little fashion show. May we suggest “Long Cool Woman in a Black Dress” by the Hollies? While you’re doing this, think about which existing pieces you can pair the item with and if you could see yourself wearing this outfit regularly. Also, think about if you like the way these pieces make you look and feel. If an article of clothing fails these two tests, send it straight to the D= category.
Step three: clearing out
Now that you’ve gathered the clothing you’ve decided to part with, the next step is to make sure the pieces end up where they belong. To facilitate this process, we recommend subdividing this category into piles of trash, donate and thrift. The trash pile is for clothes that have reached the end of their life cycle and are moments away from falling apart. Clothes in the donate pile are still wearable, presentable and undamaged. The final category is reserved for special pieces that any trendy Berkeley thrift shop would be proud to stock. You can take this final pile down to either Mars Vintage on Telegraph Avenue, or Crossroads Trading Co. on Shattuck Avenue to try to sell the items.
Featured image: Emily May