Things to do this week

Are you bored? We’re bored. Very bored. Very, very bored. Bored like a plank of wood. Bored like a hole made with a revolving tool. Everyone’s in the library. We hate libraries. Everyone’s on a computer. Gosh, put ’em away. What a quiet week this is; there must be something we can do!

Go to Strada and stare endlessly afar. Don’t bring a book, don’t bring a notebook, and don’t bring Facebook. Just gaze.

Bring a camera to Dwinelle and take pictures of people getting lost. Then take photos of people who found their way. ‘Nuff said.

Lie face down on Sproul offering yourself to be picked up as a “live action flier.” No wiggling.

Offer to walk people to Philz Coffee. Then pensively walk up and down the side walk outside Philz muttering to yourself.

Crash a dinner party at the end, so you can be the one to request to split the check six ways with varying amounts because you didn’t have much of the nachos.

Go to the balcony of FSM and loudly vocalize your desire to move your seat closer to a random group, while knowing you’re attempting to move a bolted-down chair. Struggle for a few minutes.

Spend a day in which, during every meal or snack you have, you tell whomever you’re with that this is the first thing you’ve eaten all day.

Learn things incorrectly, because you grow more through failure than success, right?

Get to the second-to-last page of a notebook, start writing until the end, and then toss that puppy while clamoring, “Bingo!”

What better way to spend our final week than finally finding something to do when we’re bored. Cheers.

Contact Ismael Farooqui at [email protected].