A guide to becoming the campus creep

giphy/Creative Commons

As you prepare to begin the school year here at UC Berkeley, you’ll be bombarded with tons of advice and helpful tips to help you transition. You’ll hear suggestions for how to stand out as a candidate for internships and be encouraged to let your unique personality shine. But you probably won’t be advised about how to be creepy. As UC Berkeley students, we’re exposed to lots of interesting people, and all of the strangest are well known. If you’re interested in becoming notoriously creepy, we’ve got some tips for you. So whether you’re clueless about creepiness or just need to refresh your creeping skills, we have the list of tips for you.

1. Play footsie with a random student in class

You’re bored, they’re bored  so why not spice things up in Intro to Philosophy? This will either go very wrong or better than you could imagine. Or they may just think it was an accident.


2. Send Facebook pokes to your professors and GSIs

If you want yourself to be remembered in a large class, this is a sure way for you to stand out. Your GSIs may even note how friendly and outgoing you are in their letters of recommendation.


3. Laugh for no reason as you walk to class

Laughing by yourself shows others that you’re comfortable in your own skin. Also, people may think you’re really funny if you can make yourself laugh so much.


4. Sketch a fellow student in the desk next to you

They may fidget uncomfortably under your gaze, but don’t stop until your sketch is complete. Don’t they know they could be the next Mona Lisa?


5. Get naked and hug a campus tree

Other people are doing it.


6. Sit outside the GBC and tell a stranger, “It’s so cool to talk to someone outside the asylum”

You’ll make their day.


7. Pass out your manifesto for world domination on Sproul Plaza

If for any reason you need help thinking of ideas for how to accomplish taking over the world, then look to Mr. Tinkles’ plan from the movie Cats and Dogs. Foolproof.


8. Fly your drone in the library

For whatever reason, when you lower your drone in front of students studying, they get annoyed. Let’s try to change that attitude. Bonus points if you add a disco ball or boombox stereo onto it.


9. Wear an Oski face mask

The best way to show school pride is to become school pride.


10. “Do the creep”

It might take a while to master, but this is an essential element to mastering the art of creepiness on Sproul.

For more inspiration, check out the a cappella group UC Men’s Octet of UC Berkeley cover of “Creep.” Let it be your anthem.

Image source: giphy

Contact Natalie Dardaine at [email protected].