A wise man once said that the perfect bowl of frozen yogurt is difficult to achieve and impossible to forget. The beautiful thing about frozen yogurt is that everyone’s idea of perfection is unique, making it the ultimate window into a person’s soul. Haven’t you ever seen someone’s prepared bowl of yogurt and thought, “That’s exactly how I would imagine it to look”? Well, if you haven’t, maybe you’ll start now. We at the Clog interviewed the diverse individuals of UC Berkeley about their own process of crafting the perfect “froyo,” and you experienced — or budding — froyo analysts should see if you can match the person with how he or she froyos!

Here’s a short bio of everyone we talked to.

A. Jessica

Jessica is a molecular and cell biology major from Los Angeles. She’s taking a computer science class for the summer and loving it, even though her last exam made her feel like she “had just been —- on.”

B. Hazel

Hazel goes to school in Lebanon full time but is studying economics and political science at UC Berkeley for the summer. Pinkberry is her yogurt place of choice, although she says the quality of froyo here is about the same. (Shout out to Yogurtland, Menchie’s and Yogurt Park!)

C. Julia

Julia is studying neuroscience at UC Berkeley and loves K-pop.

D. Vivian

Vivian is from Los Angeles. She doesn’t eat a lot of sweets but splurges on chocolate every once in a while.

E. Sean 

Sean is a pre-Haas student at UC Berkeley. He’s played guitar his entire life and worships Led Zeppelin.

F. Professor Steve Takata

Takata is Biology 1A lab professor at UC Berkeley and a self-described avid outdoorsman and lover of all things biology.

G. Vyhan

Vyhan is from San Diego, loves clothes and going to Comic Con, and calls the shirt she’s wearing in this picture “frat boy chic.”

H. Michael 

Michael is from the Bay Area. He loves dancing and is involved in two dance groups at UC Berkeley.

I. Felipe

Felipe is a junior at UC Berkeley studying anthropology. He believes he has “at least three stomachs,” as he possesses an insatiable appetite.

 

So, how do you think they froyo? Match the letters to the numbers. Answers are at the bottom of the post.

1. “The starving artist”: Mint froyo every time (sometimes he/she doesn’t know if he/she really likes it or if he/she just wants to stay in his/her comfort zone) topped with crushed Oreos and cheesecake bites (the ones from Menchie’s are preferred).

2. “The chocolatier”: He/she tries all the new flavors but always ends up sticking to chocolate froyo topped with cheesecake bits and popping boba. Gummy bears are added last and eaten first and separately from the yogurt because they tend to get really hard if you wait too long.

3. “The brainiac”: Plain tart yogurt with strawberries, mango, blueberries and almonds, but only diced and never sliced because the sliced ones are “wimpy” with no crunch. If he/she is feeling frisky — such as after killing an exam — he/she will add mochi.

4. “The world traveler”: Peach yogurt with Oreo pieces and brownie bites in the middle, and with strawberries and kiwi lining the side of the bowl (preferably not touching the Oreo and brownie).

5. “The adventurous one”: The first thing he/she does when walking into Yogurtland, Menchie’s or Yogurt Park is ask for testing cups. Then he/she proceeds to try all the new flavors but always ends up going with plain tart. He/she tops his/her yogurt with popping boba — which he/she loves because of the surprise burst of flavor — mango and kiwi.

6. “Basically Steve Irwin”: When asked what he/she likes on his/her frozen yogurt, he/she replied, “Oh, you know, cockroaches, beetles, other small insects.” He/she then seriously answered: plain tart yogurt with kiwi, strawberries and raspberries.

7. “The perfectionist”: He/she begins with plain tart so that it is the last thing he/she eats. He/she usually puts coffee yogurt over it. He/she assembles his/her yogurt so that it only covers the circumference of the bowl, with the middle left empty for toppings only. This way, he/she can have toppings mixed in with every layer and not just the first (is this not brilliant?). Toppings include a variety of fruits — usually mango and strawberries — and mochi.

8. “The foodie:” He/she uses only plain tart froyo, because he/she believes the other flavors taste too artificial or sweet, and tops it with kiwi, mochi, mango and dark chocolate chips. Sadly, he/she usually ends up getting more yogurt than necessary, so the toppings-to-yogurt ratio is often skewed.

9. “Fruit fanatic:” He/she always goes with sorbet or fruity froyo — the pineapple flavor at Menchie’s is a favorite — believing that flavors such as chocolate or birthday cake should be reserved for ice cream. Toppings include mango, strawberries, popping boba and mochi (and mandarin orange, but that is added last and eaten independently of the froyo).

Answers: E and 1; D and 2; A and 3; B and 4; C and 5; F and 6; G and 7 ; H and 9; I and 8