First quiz of the semester in a nightmare

Mandy Zheng/Staff

On the night before your first quiz of the semester, you turn off the lights, happily snuggle into the sheets and hope for sweet dreams. Before your big day, however, you’re feeling a little anxious. Because this feeling quickly spirals out of control, you won’t be dreaming about cheerfully riding a unicorn into a rainbow sunset. We at the Clog have visualized a dream you might have instead.

You end up tripping into a stuffy discussion room (at least this time you’re dressed). From the writing on the board, you realize it’s Biochemistry 102 — but you don’t remember even being a biology major. The clock reads 9:10 and the GSI clears his throat to begin discussion.

According to Rate My Professors, your professor is not particularly helpful. So, as you fish out your pen, you realize it’s crucial to have an exceptional GSI who can explain difficult concepts effectively.

The GSI tells everyone his name, then announces that he’s a first year graduate student and this is his first time teaching. As soon as those words come out of his mouth, you internally groan.

“This is just terrific. How is a clueless freshman going to teach me biochemistry?” You panic silently.

Then he says, “Everyone clear their desks. We have a pop quiz. I’m sure you know this, but the course is cumulative and builds off of everything you learned in previous biology and organic chemistry courses.”

Your panic intensifies.

“A pop quiz on the first day of class? Wait, what is organic chemistry? You mean, like certified organic grapes?”

You feel a little light-headed from the unexpected turn of events.

After the very difficult quiz in which the only blank you could fill was your name, he fumbles a bit before handing out the course syllabus. The “syllabus,” or more appropriately, the instructional manual, turns out to be 20 pages long. You feel like you need to take a nap immediately to rest your mind after scanning through the pages. Typed in a large font is the grade distribution, and this leads to another disturbing revelation.

“The final exam is worth 90% of our grade? This is madness!”

You glance around the classroom but no one else looks like they’re hyperventilating and about to pass out.

Fifty minutes later, you feel hopeless and overwhelmed. Your grade is in the hands of a GSI, you failed your first test of the school year and it’s only 10 a.m. On the way out, you feel woozy from high levels of stress and start to face-plant.

Suddenly, you jerk awake two minutes before your alarm rings. When you wake up, you thank your lucky stars that it was all just a horrible nightmare and pray for dreams of fluffy cotton candy tomorrow night.

Contact Stephanie Wang at [email protected].