A sonnet in honor of UC Berkeley’s No. 1 ranking

Kevin Chen/File

In case you missed it (because why would you be checking this), UC Berkeley was once again ranked the top national public university in the U.S. according to the U.S. News & World Report ranking. But because we know you couldn’t even get through that sentence without falling asleep, we at the Clog have devised a more entertaining way of imparting this news to you. The following sonnet portrays UC Berkeley in all its splendorYou’re welcome.


According to the U.S. World Report,

Our campus is the best one in the world.

And though this makes us ready to cavort,

We’re trying hard to not upset the squirrels.


This thrilling news was too hard to contain;

We shouted it to people on the Glade.

And though they might have thought we were insane

We asked the Men’s Octet to serenade.


But sad to say the Octet turned us down,

So we decided Kip’s worked just as well.

With ranking printed out, we hit the town,

Then tried to ring the Campanile bell.


We might be strange, but we’re still number one,

And with that mic drop, now our poem’s done.

Contact Emma Schiffer at [email protected].