Captioning a chancellor: Nicholas Dirks edition

Kore Chan/File

The Clog is proud to present the first iteration of the “captioning a chancellor” series, and gracing our opening edition is the debutante, and Berkeley chancellor, Nicholas Dirks! Renowned for his ability to appear as though he has just towel-dried his hair at any time of day, Chancellor Dirks hopes to bring together the diverse groups at UC Berkeley into one great UC Berkeley community. But who cares? To the captions:


Jennifer Tanji/File

“Went to get a new shirt for this shindig. Ended up getting into a wrestling match with the guy at American Apparel. You could say it was a case of fist-a-cuffs! I had the guy by the collar! Get it?” he chuckles quietly.


J. Hannah Lee/File

“Damn, I can’t believe I made that joke earlier. Good thing this isn’t coffee.”


Kevin Chen/File

“Who knew this could make me forget about my dad? Wooo!”


J. Hannah Lee/File

“Just drew a moustache on Clark Kerr’s portrait. Who gon’ fire me?”


Joe Wright/File

“Not sure if I got this right, but I think you may kiss the bride now?”


Sierra Brown/File

“I’ll take questions after I finish — so then I told my wife…”

(Kore Chan/File) "Decided to lay myself off for the day. Pretty sure I can do that."

Kore Chan/File

“Decided to lay myself off for the day. Pretty sure I can do that.”


Derek Remsburg/File

“Wow! That’s what’s in Marsellus Wallace’s case!”


Kore Chan/File

“Must we always de-robe you, sire, before you use the toilet?”

Contact Ismael Farooqui at [email protected].