This probably should have come out sooner, but, you know, we were stuck in a long conversation. Unless you are one of the loquacious members of the Clog, chances are you just learned what a conversation is from reading this. In fact, if you were to ever manage to stumble your way into a conversation at the dining hall, you’d probably have no idea how to get out of it. Rest assured, the Clog has compiled a list of quality conversation starters for you to use at Crossroads. Since we were feeling generous in writing this, we decided to throw in some conversation enders too — aka reasonably believable lies, so you can confidently leave any conversation you entered into.
- Make eye contact with the person you want to talk to and say, “Hello, you look familiar!” This is our personal favorite.
- Smile and offer a compliment. “I love your jacket, by the way my name is ___.” So classic and so effective.
- Both smile and maintain eye contact, but don’t say anything. Maintain this for a minimum of ten minutes before attempting to begin conversing. It’s crazy what’s socially acceptable these days.
- Ask a question. For instance: “Wow, that looks good. What’s that on your plate?” Conversation should take off from there.
- Act like you’re already friends and thus don’t need a conversation starter. A good example would be to slam your glass down on the table and mutter, “Is your mother out of the hospital yet?” This one never fails.
- Yawn and say you’re feeling sleepy, and that it’s time for a nap. It’s a great way to bid adieu.
- “Oh look at the time, have class in five!” This one is timeless. Well, you get the point.
- Collect your plates, slide them off the table and holler, “Used up!” Love this one — so succinct.
- Feign a call from your parent: “Sorry guys, need to take this. Lovely meeting you all.” So simple.
- Gather your plates and say, “Well, we should all hang out again! I need to go do a little studying now so I can figure out where and when we can meet again. I never want to be apart from you guys for more than thirty minutes at a time. Oh, don’t cry Tina. I’ll be back.” Fabulous. They’ll love you even as you walk away from them — forever.
Contact Ismael Farooqui at [email protected].