20 UC Berkeley ways to reject a date

Alec Smyth/File

Whether it’s because you have huge commitment issues or because you just aren’t fond of the person who is asking you out, you need the perfect rejection that’s just ridiculous enough for the person not to ask you out again. Hopefully these excuses give off enough of the “wtf” factor that the person will go running in the opposite direction — and you can stay single for as long as you like.

1. “I would, but Berkeley Bowl is having a sale.”

2. “Sorry, I’m protesting against GBC eliminating chicken strips.”

3. “I’m kinda busy looking at Free and For Sale.”

4. “Umm, I think my mom called me last week?”

5. “Nah, I’m outlining a paper due in a month.”

6. “Sorry, I’m working on my senior thesis.” “But you’re a freshman!”

7. “I live on Shattuck and would hate to have to walk up the hill.”

8. “Dude, I can’t! AC transit isn’t running today.”

9. “Maybe next time, I’m broke and out of meal points.”

10. “Sorry, I need to re-adjust my Birkenstocks.”

11. “Not today, I have Quidditch practice.”

12. “I would, but I haven’t gotten a new transit sticker yet, and walking is not an option.”

13. “Today’s the day I’m going to fake-cry in front of my GSI, sorry.”

14. “I only do study dates.”

15. “I think I got food poisoning from Cafe 3.”

16. “My scooter broke down so I can’t get to you. .”

17. “I don’t think I can make it. I need to revise the paper I got an A- on.”

18. “Not today, I have a floor meeting with my RA.”

19. “I would, but I’m too busy trying to sabotage BCourses HQ.”

20. “I’m going to DKE’s Netflix and Chill.”

Contact Catherine Straus at [email protected].