If Matty McKibben from ‘Awkward’ went to UC Berkeley

MTV/VIACOM/Creative Commons

The popular MTV show “Awkward” just revealed that the beloved hotshot Matty McKibben (Beau Mirchoff) is thinking about going to UC Berkeley. Or at least he’s 90 percent sure he will be — his rekindling love with Jenna Hamilton (Ashley Rickards) might stand in the way of him attending his top choice at UC Berkeley (Go Bears). What Matty needs to realize is that Jake Rosati (Brett Davern), his best friend, is right: UC Berkeley has a Division 1 soccer team and not even Jenna can beat that! If Matty leaves his high school “dramarama” behind, which we sincerely hope he does, here’s what we imagine his life will be like as a UC Berkeley student.

He would join the soccer team — duh!

Not only will the Cal men’s soccer roster have more searches and views, but the soccer games will also be packed with more females than ever. Similar to his effect on girls in Palos Hills High School during soccer games, we expect him to have the same effect on girls at UC Berkeley, especially with the addition of Berkeley goggles. If Matty plays soccer for UC Berkeley, we suggest you get your hands on those soccer season passes fast. This former Titan athlete is going to attract a lot of attention, to say the least.

He would run for ASUC Senate

There is no denying that Matty, despite a small downfall in his senior year, was one of the most popular students in his high school, if not the most popular. One can only imagine that he’ll use his charm and charisma to make our campus a better place. Those of you running for Senate better watch out because if Matty McKibben joins, he will be tough competition — have you seen him smile?

He would be a rhetoric major

Matty got an offer from UC Berkeley because of soccer, which is his main priority right now. We would like to assume that Matty will be a rhetoric major because his persuasion skills have convinced Jenna to never lose interest in him. After all, rhetorically analyzing Ayn Rand cannot be harder than analyzing Jenna’s complicated mind, right?

He would live in the Clark Kerr Campus

Matty, like the rest of the soccer team, will be living in the Clark Kerr Campus his freshman year, which means that he’ll need a scooter or moped or maybe even a Segway to navigate around campus. This means that although it will be hard to catch him on-the-go, a glimpse of the number on his backpack is enough.

He would hang out at the Martin Luther King Jr. Student Union

Matty seems like the type of guy who, despite getting pulled into high school dramas all the time, would occasionally enjoy his alone time to be productive. The new student union would be the ideal spot for a sporty guy like him. It provides the perfect amount of outdoor sunshine with peace and quiet suitable for studying. That, or he will fall asleep studying on Memorial Glade.

He would have the hottest Tinder profile

It will be no disappointment to any female with a Tinder account that Matty might be hopping on the Tinder bandwagon. There’ll no longer be complaints about Tinder being dead, and the “super-like” button will be vigorously used.

Contact Catherine Straus at [email protected].