As everyone knows, great artists have to suffer great pain to produce some of their greatest works. Thus, because we at the Clog are on our midterms deathbed, we created possibly the best poem of our artistic career. We combined two of our great muses, midterms and memes, to craft this masterpiece. When we become a poet laureate, you’ll be able to say you discovered us before we were famous. You’re welcome.
A Eulogy for our GPA
(alternately titled An Ode to Midterms)
We hate that you infect our lives and suck out all our fun,
Did no one ever tell you the word “midterm” just means one?
We try to have a social life but midterms never end,
We hate the way you make it hard to hang out with our friends.
We hate it when we’re taking you completely without nerves,
But then the super genius in our lecture sets the curve.
We choose between attending class or studying for you,
And then you make us fall behind in other classes too.
We hate you ’cause you torture us and make us talk in memes,
And even when we go to sleep, we see you in our dreams.
We hate the way you waste our trees and spend our meal points too,
We’d rather spend our meal points on Top Ramen, not on you.
We hate it when we start reviewing, and we get all hyped,
And then we soon remember we were sleeping when we typed.
We hate it when you make us mad and when you make us cry.
But when we pass/no pass you, we say “Bye, Felicia, bye.”
You make our libraries so full, we give up in defeat —
You make it near impossible to find an empty seat.
Although we say we hate you and that you can be a pain,
We grudgingly admit that you can (maybe) help our brains.
Contact Abigail Balingit at [email protected].