How to ride solo through cuddle season

Kayla Baskevitch/File
Kayla Baskevitch/Staff

With the smell of pumpkin spice lattes wafting through the air, the couples planning their sickeningly cute (emphasis on sickening) matching Halloween costumes and the onset of light jacket weather, there’s no denying that cuddle weather is imminent. If you’re spooning a tub of ice cream while your roommates spend the night with their significant others, we at the Clog are here to provide you with some pro-tips, as well as a reminder that that entire tub of ice cream is yours for the taking.

1. Go cafe-hopping with your best friend (or actually, any single friend will do).

Maybe you aren’t going on any romantic candlelit dates, but you do have a plethora of Berkeley cafes at your disposal. It’s hard to remember that cafes can actually be fun and cute instead of just a semi-quiet place to study when Main Stacks is closed. Go explore People’s Coffee & Tea or Elmwood Cafe with your friend. You’ll probably be broke, but it’ll be worth it.

2. Netflix and — you. Just you.

Nothing is stopping you from having a “Friends” marathon in your pajamas every weekend. As a single, barely-functioning adult, there’s nothing better than watching other single, barely-functioning adults screw up worse than you do. Plus, when you have all these Friends, who needs a significant other. Am I right?

3. Get a pet.

If you live in a residence hall, then this might not be a good idea. But if you’re living in an apartment, you should invest in a low-maintenance furry friend, like a hamster. If you’re feeling adventurous, you can even get a dog. But if you’re not up for a long-term commitment, fish are pretty good company if you’re into developing a strong emotional but not physical  relationship.

4. Learn how to bake.

Oftentimes, the best part about baking is the grocery shopping that precedes it. You never really feel alone at Safeway surrounded by bright, shining aisles filled with rows and rows of comfort food. After spending a nice, therapeutic morning at the grocery store, devote your afternoon to perfecting your culinary creation for one.

5. Get a body pillow.

If you don’t have an actual human being to cuddle with, a body pillow is the next best thing. In fact, they may even be preferable they don’t argue with you or require any emotional investment. And most importantly, you don’t have to worry about cheating. They may lack the warmth and touch of a human, but after cuddling with them for a while, you won’t be able to tell the difference.

6. Get ahead on your schoolwork.

A perk of being single is that you have one less distraction in your life. You can dedicate that time to showing your GPA some love instead. Although this isn’t exactly the most desirable option, it’s surely the responsible thing to do. Ain’t nobody got time for a relationship anyway.

Contact Carina Zhao at [email protected].