How to make quick money in the new year

It’s a widely accepted belief that Venmo is actually just a ploy to get college students to not realize how much money they’re spending on C.R.E.A.M. and 3 a.m. Artichoke. If you’ve recently been finding yourself always missing $20 bills, quickly saying “I’ll just Venmo you later” and wondering how long you can go without food when you’re out of meal points, then you’re probably broke. That is why we at the Clog took it upon ourselves to think up some ways in which even a broke college student like yourself can make a few extra bucks, fast. Start the new year off right with a stuffed wallet and the confidence that you can stuff your face without having to worry about overdraft charges.

Set up your own fruit station next to the one at GBC

Jamin Kim-Sanders/Staff

Jamin Kim-Sanders/Staff

Six dollars for one small package of raspberries? Oh no. We can’t just merely stand by and watch that happen. If you choose to follow your calling by becoming a fruit vendor, then there’s still space next to the fruit tent outside of the Golden Bear Cafe. You may get some dark looks from the GBC workers at this location, but the starved college students will come running for cheap fruit. While working here, you could also raise your fist angrily toward City Hall to protest these absurd food prices.

Door-to-door succulent service

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Ariel Sauri/Staff

In college there’s usually no time for one to get a pet, as time is divided between barely surviving and doing homework. We all know that the perfect replacement for a pet is a succulent. Although some stellar young people have managed to kill even a succulent, most take perfect care of it just by doing nothing. Thus, a door-to-door succulent service would be ideal, as one could convince a student to buy it by saying “it requires no work.”

Object holder at parties

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Catherine Straus/Staff

We all know the struggle of going to a party and awkwardly holding our phone, keys and other miscellaneous objects (a stray textbook, perhaps, for those overachievers?) in our hands. Well, as an object holder, you can offer to hold someone’s things while accompanying them to a party to make their life a little easier. You may even develop biceps after holding an entire fraternity’s iPhones in one hand. Additionally, you can carry a set of clean clothes in your other hand to give out when doomed drinks spill all over people.

Bus alerter

Bus---Alvin

Alvin Wu/Staff

If you love being on time and using public transportation, then this job is the perfect fit for you. While NextBus.com is a great resource for checking when the buses are coming, sometimes it can be rather off on when the buses are actually arriving. Therefore, this job is to inform certain students of when the bus is coming. Ten minutes before the bus arrives, your job is to pound on the student’s door to alert them that they must leave right at that very second if they are going to catch their intended bus. You may even accompany them on the bus to tell them which stop is the right one.

Hopefully these ideas on how to make money will make your heart, and wallet, a little fuller this holiday season. Happy money-making!

Contact Emilia Malachowski at [email protected].