New semester resolutions

The combination of the new year and the new semester has everyone making a lot of resolutions. But how realistic are your resolutions, really? You say you’re definitely going to try a smoothie cleanse, but let’s be real — you don’t even own a blender. We at the Clog put together a list of the most common new semester resolutions and the thought process behind them.

Go to the gym more

Sure, you’ve only been to the RSF once. Sure, that one time was on your CalSO tour. But new year, new you, right? You are definitely going to take advantage of the free RSF membership and make it to the gym this semester, especially after the amount of candy you consumed over the holidays. Who cares that you’ve made this resolution at the start of every semester. This is the semester you do it.

Stop procrastinating

From middle school on, you’ve had the same problem. You start procrastinating on your papers, your studying, your reading and then at the end of the semester you have to scramble to catch up. But not this semester. You’re  actually going to do your homework the day it’s assigned, start your papers two weeks in advance and never be caught off guard by a midterm. So what if it’s a Friday night and all your friends want to go out? You won’t be tempted by promises of enjoyment. You’re going to chain yourself to your textbook until your reading is done. You’ll go to Main Stacks even when it’s not finals week. You’re finally going to get stuff done.

Eat healthier

Goodbye midnight Tater Tots and 5-hour Energies, hello regular and well-balanced meals. You are refusing to gain another five pounds this semester. Your plan is to eat at least one salad a day, to stop snacking constantly and to cook for yourself instead of eating the prepackaged nonsense that has occupied a constant place in your refrigerator since fall term of freshman year. You know that you have class until 7 p.m. every other day and you’ve never managed to get up early enough to eat breakfast before an 8 a.m. or 9 a.m. class, but you’re going to change. No more junk food — you’re drawing the line. The first step? Learn how to cook.

Spend less money

You’re tired of wanting to cry every time you check your bank account. Each time you receive some money, it seems as if it disappears in the blink of an eye. This semester, you’re going to cut back on the expensive Peet’s and make your coffee at home. You’re going to stop eating out every week and you’re going to stay away from Target, the mall and anywhere else you can’t leave without spending money. So what if your mom’s birthday is coming up? Not this time, Mom. You’re saving money.

Explore NorCal

You came to Berkeley for a reason. Part of that reason was wanting to be somewhere amazing, like the Bay Area. Somehow, you got caught up in school and friends and at this point, you’ve only made it to San Francisco three or four times, let alone anywhere else. This semester, you’re finally going to get to see Tahoe snow and go to Six Flags. Santa Cruz and Yosemite aren’t that far away either, right? It doesn’t matter that this resolution directly contradicts your resolution to spend less money. You’re a UC Berkeley student! You can problem solve!

Branch out 

The first semester of your freshman year, you were all ready to join 15 clubs, get a job and volunteer. Now, you go to meetings of that one club — sometimes — and can’t even remember if you have a position in it anymore. So this semester you’re going to branch out. You’re going to step outside your comfort zone and bulk up your resume at the same time. You’ll make new friends. You might have to ignore that little voice in your head telling you that taking 17 units plus joining four new organizations is a terrible idea and that you’re actually pretty happy with the friends you have, but who cares? You can do it. Sleep isn’t really necessary to survive, right?

Contact Taylor Follett at [email protected].