Where should you pretend to study?

Michael Drummond/Senior Staff

Most of us are still in a state of denial over the dawn of a new semester. We don’t have our books, notebooks or pens, which means we can’t possibly be expected to accomplish anything remotely resembling work. But we want to project the appearance of accomplishment. To help you look like you’ve been studying, we at the Clog came up with a guide to some very public quasi-study spaces where you can see and be seen looking like you’ve been studying.

Memorial Glade

Uday Suresh/File

Uday Suresh/File

If you’re not at all worried about having to study, then Memorial Glade is the place for you. Relax during your break between classes by people-watching all the stressed students who run frantically by on their way to lecture. We recommend bringing a book, that way you can at least look like you’re accomplishing something. When you fall asleep with the book open on your lap, people will think it’s because you were working so hard, not because you were out too late the night before.

ASUC Student Union

Student Union.clog.krandel

Kelsi Krandel/Staff

It’s your lunch break and you should probably read about the life of Albert Einstein before your next discussion. You have exactly an hour and a half to eat and read, so eat and read you will. You head to the ASUC Student Union to grab a bite and a coffee, hoping you’ll be one of the lucky few to find an open table and chair. A friend waves you over and you sit down to catch up for a minute. “I really need to do work,” you say with a feigned sense of urgency. An hour and a half later you’ve traded parts of your lunches and stories about your experiences studying abroad in the fall. Einstein can wait until after discussion.

Caffe Strada

Omil Xia/Staff

Omil Xia/Staff

Oh, Strada. The home of peppermint lattes and brief club meetings. It’s the ultimate place to see and be seen. There’s the guarantee that you’ll see at least three close friends, five acquaintances and that one kid you’ve had every class with since spring semester freshman year. If you sit here for a few hours with your laptop out and a rotating cast of people you urgently need to talk to, everyone you’ve ever known will see how busy and polished you are — and you won’t even have to do any work.

Morrison Reading Room

doe

Nothing suggests dedication to studying as much as actually going to the library. But because it’s still only the second week of classes and the whole point of this is to not do any work, Morrison Reading Room is the perfect place to project the illusion of learning. If people see you going through the doors of Doe Library, they’ll immediately be impressed. Rumors will start circulating about how you were seen at the library so early in the semester. No one has to know that you turned right into the reading room for a quick nap. It’s practically impossible not to fall asleep in the reading room, so there’s a good chance of impressing your friends and no chance of getting work done. It’s a win-win.

Contact Rachel Feder at [email protected].