Valentine’s Day gifts you can buy at Bear Market

Isabela Reid/Staff

What’s more difficult than finding a Valentine? Finding the perfect gift for your one true love that accurately represents your feelings toward them. If you’re short on time and don’t have the resources to make the trek to Victoria’s Secret or Ghiradelli’s, hit up Bear Market for those last-minute presents. You’d be surprised — with a little creativity and budgeting skills, you can spend fewer than 30 meal points on your significant other.

Your Valentine lives four doors down from you. You’ve maybe said “hi” a few times and once ran into them in the laundry room. You are totally and completely head over heels for them, but don’t know where to start. You’re looking for a gift that implies more than a friendship but doesn’t scream, “I want to have your children.” Dang Toasted Coconut Chips are a cute and punny way to show your affection — you could attach a note saying “dang, u cute” to show your witty sense of humor. The infamous, giant $17 Rice Krispie Treat is also a must. Go big or go home. And if you’re hoping to spark a bit of romance by the end of the night, you can’t go wrong with an off-brand Icee. Netflix and Siberian Chill, anyone? Flavor options for Siberian Chill include Blue Raspberry or Very Very Cherry, and if you’re feeling extra romantic, ¿por qué no los dos?

Perhaps your relationship is already more established, and you’re going hot and heavy. Start off the night by gifting your S.O. a Naked Juice, preferably the Red Machine flavor, in keeping with the love theme that surrounds this holiday. Turn up the heat with a delectable papaya-mango scented body cream, which will come in handy for the more intimate moments. Speaking of intimate moments, don’t forget to grab some Trojan condoms on your way out. Remember, kids: The best sex is safe sex!

Maybe you two met during the first week of school and have been dating ever since. Now it’s second semester junior year, you’re living together, you have each other’s schedules memorized and all your friends consider you two to be practically married. You’re past the point of extravagantly expensive gifts — you’re more practical than that — so laundry detergent doubles as a V-day present and as a good way to gently remind them that their stinky laundry has been piling up for too long. Trade the heart-shaped box of chocolates for a box of Cheerios or Love Crunch. It’s a healthier way to show your undying love. As a classy touch, pick up a bottle of Martinelli’s Sparkling Cider behind the counter at Bear Market. Cheers to your prematurely serious relationship!

If you don’t have a special someone in your life right now, so what? Use this commercial holiday to spoil yourself rotten. Start with Ben and Jerry’s Phish Food and pair it with “Finding Nemo.” Then work your way through Chocolate Therapy while watching the very appropriate flick, “Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.” While you’re at it, snag a box of off-brand Kleenex for the sappy romance movies you’ll watch later tonight with your other single friends.

Whether you’re roaming the floors of Unit 3 for a potential mate, happily in lust/love, in a more committed relationship than that of your parents or simply happy to have an excuse to eat an extra amount of crappy food this Valentine’s Day, Bear Market has a little something for everyone.