Quiz: What tea should you drink?

Mai Truong/Staff
Yixing teapots at Teance

Picture this: You’re standing in front of your cupboard, with a mug in hand and your teapot about to start whistling. You’re staring blankly at the hundreds of boxes of tea you own, incapable of choosing which to open. This is the biggest decision of your life. What tea should you drink? There are so many different options, so many things you could regret. So, what tea should you drink?

In that moment, your phone alerts you that the Daily Clog has posted a new article. Somehow, the Clog knew exactly what you needed. You click excitedly through this quiz, realizing that you never have to deliberate over what tea you should drink again. The Clog understands you. Enjoy.

  1. Do you want caffeine?
    1. No, I need to sleep.
    2. Not really.
    3. Sure.
    4. I mean, it’s more of a need at this point.
  2. What time of day is it?
    1. Night!
    2. It’s like … afternoon, I guess?
    3. Morning, ugh.
    4. How is this relevant?
  3. Why are you drinking tea?
    1. It’s supposed to be really good for you and it’s relaxing!
    2. My throat is killing me, so I figured tea would help.
    3. Tea > coffee.
    4. I like tea?
  4. Do you know what kind of tea you like?
    1. I like herbal teas!
    2. I like all kinds, pretty much.
    3. Black tea!
    4. Isn’t that what this quiz is supposed to tell me?
  5. How do you take your tea?
    1. Just plain.
    2. With honey or lemon.
    3. With cream and/or sugar.
    4.  In a mug.
  6. How do you make your tea?
    1. I just put the teabag in a mug and pour water in.
    2. In the microwave.
    3. I’m a big fan of loose leaf tea.
    4. This isn’t that complicated of a process, to be entirely honest.
  7. What kind of mood are you in right now?
    1. I’m pretty stressed out.
    2. I’m relaxed right now.
    3. A little tired, but OK.
    4. Now? Annoyed at these questions.
    1. You should try chamomile or lavender tea. Both of these teas are soothing and good to drink right before bed. Plus, they’re both really good for stress relief. While we at the Clog don’t know if they actually cure insomnia, as some claim, we do know that they’re delicious. Bonus: You can usually find pretty good lavender tea at the Den or Cub Market.
    2. You should make some lemon or mint tea. Both of these herbal teas are refreshing but still usually decaffeinated. They’re also fantastic if you have a sore throat, especially with some honey. Both teas are also delicious iced on a hot day.
    3. You should grab a cup of English Breakfast Tea or Earl Gray. These black teas are caffeinated and good either on their own or with cream and sugar. Infamous tea drinkers such as the British tend to gravitate toward these teas. If you want to move past the traditional cup of tea, Yali’s Cafe on campus makes a mean London Fog (an Earl Gray latte with vanilla syrup). We at the Clog would recommend.
    4. You clearly know everything about tea, including what kind of tea you should be drinking. Why are you even taking this quiz? Go have a cup of tea. You don’t need our advice.

Contact Taylor Follett at [email protected].