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Spring break regrets

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MARCH 30, 2016

Spring break was a long time coming, but didn’t waste any time going by. Now, it’s over too soon. There are some things you probably wish you’d done, and some more that you wish you hadn’t. We at the Clog have complied a list of the most common spring break regrets, so at least you know you aren’t the only one humming the post-break blues.

Too much couch time

This break, you witnessed a special marriage between your butt cheeks and a couch cushion. Looking back, maybe you spent a little too much time in a near-horizontal position, binge-watching or snacking or petting your animal of choice. When people ask what you did over break, you answer “Netflix and chill” — literally. Maybe you missed a neighborhood block party that one sunny day, or maybe you forgot about that free concert you were planning to crash on the beach. And although you’re well-rested now, your work ethic is still recovering and your tailbone has yet to regain complete feeling.

Not enough family time

Everyone has that one relative they’ll just never satisfy or that one sibling who just won’t let up. But family also puts the fun in dysfunctional, and you’re sad because although you had them close by or within reach, you opted out of really giving them your full attention. There are times in the middle of midterms or in the dead of the night when you crave your mama’s home cooking and your grandpa’s soothing snoring. For whatever reason, you didn’t take the time to go check in on how the fam is doing these days, and you never did find out if that new fridge your mom told you about really does keep milk good a week after the expiration date. You’ll visit soon, but you regret that you didn’t spend more time with them this time around.

The high school reunion party

This break, you decided to catch up with your old clique and check in on how everyone is adulting. You meet up and it was like nothing had changed, not even your plans for the weekend. Rolling up together, just like old times, you made the regrettable decision to go to a party hosted by that one guy who has hosted them since junior-year prom. You figured you’d catch up with everyone in your yearbooks and maybe lose yourself in a little nostalgia together. That vision vanished the second you saw the proud frat bros with their tattooed letters, the proving-I’m-no-lightweight-now crew nestled around bottles, the unrecognizable friend who suddenly gained a lot of weight and the married couple in the corner.

The high school party

Your younger sibling is now all grown up, and somehow you’ve been given the honor of chaperoning them to what was supposedly the only party of the year that mattered. You step inside and you’ve never felt older in your life. Why was everyone so damn skinny and why did their eyes dart around the room constantly? Your maturity spoke for itself and everyone tried their best to impress you, but you were too busying hiding in a cocoon of your own embarrassment at having nothing better to do. Finally, your sibling was ready to go, and only asked you to drive four friends home, too!

Too much drank

Maybe you took a nice relaxing week to kick it in Berkeley, or maybe you took a nice relaxing week in Cabo. Either way, you took break as a nice opportunity to have a few buddies over and drink more than what runs through Strawberry Creek in a month. There was something liberating and cathartic at the time, but now you just feel weighed down by your own bad decisions. If you can remember more than half of the things you did in any given day throughout the week, that’s better than your average. Even though you’re about to make a successful recycling trip, you regret wasting your break completely wasted.

Too much junk food

You spent so long crafting your six-pack with your tuition-included RSF membership, but now all you’ve got to show for it is a nice round food baby. Your spring break calendar consisted of 10 consecutive days of treat yo’ self. But now, while walking up to Pimentel, you don’t recall the walk being this painfully uphill or the Main Stacks staircase ever having so many damn steps. As you’re trying to study again, you realize you have to focus on breathing a lot more than you did before. Maybe it’s all the added pounds of ice-cream cake and baby back ribs. Everything was so sweet at the time that you didn’t have the foresight to imagine things ever becoming this sour.

But hey, only 45 days until summer!

Contact Raeline Valbuena at [email protected].

MARCH 29, 2016