We’ve only been back to the daily grind of normal life for about a week, but thanks to the immediate barrage of midterms, papers and general stress (ASUC campaigns, anyone?) we all might find ourselves already needing a break. Thankfully, the memories of spring break are still fresh in our minds, ready to be called upon at a moment’s notice for a quick picker-upper. To help evoke some happy thoughts, the Daily Clog is here with a checklist on a topic that is 100 percent medically guaranteed to make you smile: your dog. Check off all the things below that you did to reconnect with your sweet canine companion last week, and remember — your dog believes you can do anything.
- I gave my dog at least one treat.
- I gave my dog at least five treats.
- I gave my dog so many treats that they now associate the opening of any cupboard door with treats and come running to beg whenever they hear it. I’m considering renaming them Pavlov.
- I snuggled with my dog a lot.
- I watched a dumb romantic comedy with my dog.
- I watched a dumb romantic comedy in which the main character’s best friend is her dog, while snuggling with my dog (who is also my best friend).
- I took my dog for a walk to the local park.
- I took my dog for a walk to the local hiking trail.
- I took my dog for so many walks that the memories have all blurred together and it seems like we just went for one giant, endless walk for hours and hours.
- On at least one of the walks, my dog got tired and I had to carry them in my arms like the giant, furry baby they are.
- My dog and I went for a Sunday drive together.
- My dog and I took dumb selfies together.
- My dog and I took so many dumb selfies together that I now have an album dedicated to my dog and my dumb selfies with them.
- I turned my dog’s ears inside out just so they would look dumb.
- I did number 14 and I took a picture of it, which is now part of the album mentioned in number 13.
- I took a selfie with my dog while on a Sunday drive with them (note: please don’t do this while driving the car).
- I took my dog to the dog park and they were the best dog there.
- I taught my dog a new trick.
- I tried to teach my dog a new trick, and they failed miserably, but it’s OK because they’re still the best dog that was at the dog park, and maybe even the best dog in the world.
- I gave my dog lots of smooches.
- My dog gave me lots of smooches, which is gross, because dog breath.
- I played fetch with my dog — or at least tried to.
- I dressed my dog up in people clothes, and they looked pretty great.
- I told my dog about everything they missed out on while I was at college.
- I told my dog that I missed them while I was out at college.
- I half-expected my dog to say something to me, or tell me about everything I missed out on in their life while I was away at college, but my dog just looked at me and didn’t say anything. It was worth a try.
- I did homework in the presence of my dog. Alternately, I told myself I would do homework in the presence of my dog, but actually procrastinated on homework, also in the presence of my dog.
- I hung out with my dog more than I hung out with my friends.
- I told my dog I’d be back for summer break before they even knew it, even though they probably don’t even understand the concept of summer break or college or time, really.
- If my dog could take a quiz entitled “How well did you reconnect with your human over break?” they would get a result ranging from very to extremely well.
If you checked off 0 statements: Do you even have a dog? If the answer is yes, then we’re sorry, but this quiz isn’t going to bring back any good memories of the time you spent with your dog over spring break— because you didn’t spend any time with them. If the answer is no, please retake this quiz, substituting the word “cat,” “fish” or “younger sibling” for dog, as you wish.
If you checked off 1-30 statements: Congratulations! You’ve successfully been reminded of the good times you spent with your dog last week. Spend some time ruminating on those happy thoughts (maybe check that album entitled “Dumb Dog Selfies”) and get inspired to make it the rest of the way through the week. If your dog could talk, they’d be saying the equivalent to Shia LaBeouf’s “Just Do It” right now.
If you’re confused about what you got above: What? You were expecting more results? The point of the quiz wasn’t to check off as many statements as possible— it was to get you to think about your dog and destress a little. You should probably be doing that right now, actually. Get your priorities in order and take a break. Maybe call home and see if you can talk to your dog — it’ll help, trust us.
Contact Ariel Sauri at [email protected].