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If Kardashians went to UC Berkeley

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APRIL 13, 2016

Have you ever wondered what our school would be like if the Kardashians attended UC Berkeley? Imagine going to your Psych 1 lecture with Kim, watching Kendall dance at frat parties and doing late-night cram sessions with Kanye. It would probably be the best, yet worst, college experience of your life. How would “Keeping up with the Kardashians: UC Berkeley Edition” sound?

Kylie Jenner

Kylie would definitely schedule her classes months in advance and not miss a single Tele-BEARS appointment. She would be pre-Haas and join one of those exclusive business-savvy organizations on campus. On top of her gorgeous looks, her branding and marketing skills are off the charts. By the time the semester ends, every female student at UC Berkeley would end up with at least one shade of her Lip Kit.

Kendall Jenner

Kendall would be that twin who used to make fun of her sister when they were younger, but ended up being overshadowed by the latter. She would also want to get into Haas, but then would realize she couldn’t handle the pressure of applications, and switch to economics.

Khloe and Kourtney Kardashian

Khloe and Kourtney would go through fall recruitment loving every second of it. They’re so used to wearing high heels that going up and down frat row would turn out to be a piece of cake.

Kanye West

Kanye would be that guy in class who everyone wants to be friends with, but is too scared to approach. He’d obviously be in Men’s Octet and would be belting out those high Cs like there’s no tomorrow. He would also be involved in almost every single SUPERB concert. His best time at UC Berkeley would probably be getting his diploma at graduation. He would take a couple of shots beforehand, get impatient about not receiving his diploma, jump on stage while the chancellor is giving a heartfelt speech about the graduating class, and blurt out, “YO CHANCELLOR DIRKS, I’m really happy for you. Imma let you finish, but we’ve had the highest tuition hikes of all time. OF ALL TIME.”

Kim Kardashian

If Kim ever came to UC Berkeley, we would all be doomed. She would revamp the entire campus, and make it her own TV reality show. She would be the Queen B and would probably spend most of her time on Sproul Plaza wearing something extravagant with the goal of attracting the attention of as many students as possible. She would also know every single makeout spot on campus. We would just have to keep our fingers crossed and hope that no viral video of her going wild in Main Stacks will spread.


Contact Stephanie Toussaint at [email protected].

APRIL 12, 2016