What if every day was Cal Day?

Christopher Hewitt/Staff

Whether you were busy partying, got stuck tabling on Sproul Plaza or were somewhere totally off campus, you probably took a break from your regular routine for Cal Day this past Saturday. Was the break a change for the better? It was several days ago now, and if you spent 4/20 on the glade Wednesday your memory is probably not for the better, but try to remember: What was your Cal Day like? What did you do? What would happen if you could celebrate Cal Day every day?

Well, for starters, there might be a few problems. Say you spent Cal Day on frat row, at Casa Zimbabwe or a similar place — if you partook in whatever it was that you did this past Cal Day,  except every day, you’d inevitably be in dire straits before the end of the month, if not sooner. Substituting morning drinking for a breakfast meal would break you before long, and all the loud music would inevitably leave you dead. Moral of the story: casual day-drinking one Cal Day, casual horrific alcoholism the next.

Or, think about the random people from your high school who you barely even know who come to visit UC Berkeley on Cal Day. Imagine if you had to see them every single day. Imagine having to spend every day running all over campus trying to show people you barely even know a good time out of some weird sort of school-spirit obligation. Not only is that a huge hassle, but if you don’t have an epic day planned for these people you also feel woefully inadequate — like you’ve totally failed at college and now everyone you went to high school with is going to know! Who would want to go through this on a daily basis?

And what if your parents happened to visit on Cal Day? Imagine if you had to interact with family on a daily basis. Depending on your situation, you might be overjoyed with this opportunity and love life, or you might lose your shit faster than the day-drinkers on Southside. How would we know? Sometimes family is a wondrous source of love, and sometimes it’s a genuine recipe for insanity. Regardless of how much or how little you relish your folks visiting, this would be far different from what the college experience usually is, which is moving out and starting your own life.

Lastly, what would happen to all the people who work hard to make Cal Day happen each year? Groups such as ASUC SUPERB work very hard to put on events like the free concert on the glade. What would happen if they had to do this every day? It’s doubtless that within weeks, SUPERB and other groups on campus would totally run out of cash, and they’d have to resort to putting on total unknowns — even more unknown than Built To Spill. SUPERB would have to resort to recruiting troubadours from Telegraph Avenue to headline the concerts, which, it goes without saying, would probably be Built To Suck.

Students who got stuck tabling, and who would have to table every day if there were Cal Day every day (possible name: Ground-Bear Day?) would soon fail all their classes. But, as a possible silver lining: After they drop out they might get to headline a Cal Day concert!

Be grateful that Cal Day is not every day, and good luck for these last few weeks of school!

Contact Chris Hewitt at [email protected].