A letter to Clark Kerr

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APRIL 26, 2016

As the school year comes to a close, we often reflect upon the bittersweet moments of forgotten nights, clumsily falling on Sproul Plaza, trips to San Francisco and getting Artichoke with friends right before the sunrise. For freshmen, the end of the school year means saying goodbye to the residence halls, for better or for worse (but probably better). So to commemorate a whole year of memories, here’s an ode to the residence hall that doubles as a resort.

Dear Clark Kerr,

Your questionable smells and constant reeking of marijuana won’t be easily missed. Also, having to make small talk in the bathroom with floormates you don’t know is a quality that only you could so finely possess. While living on a co-ed floor was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, it’ll be nice not having the entire floor witness everyone’s various states of degeneration each weekend night.

Your food, however, will definitely be missed. Specifically deserving a shout-out are the omelets for weekend brunch. Although the ridiculous scheduling of meals (who in the world would get up at 7 a.m. just to go to breakfast?) was a pain to deal with, the variety of cereal, frozen yogurt and vegetables made up for the lack of lunch.

Most importantly, the people and the experience will be missed. There’s nothing quite like dragging laundry all over the trillion courtyards trying to find an unoccupied machine. The mystery of why one sock always seems to disappear each time laundry is done is one to be left unanswered. Hopefully, the class of 2020 is filled with the wisdom of youth and will be able to solve the problem.

The nights filled with climbing your roofs, hiking to the rope swing, having all your friends live within a 500-foot radius and seeing everyone at the dining hall (again, for better or for worse) will be the memories that, upon looking back at it, define freshmen year.

Freshmen year is unforgettable, as it’s filled with so many firsts. Residence hall life is something most people only experience once, so it won’t be easy saying goodbye to the things we hate that we’ve grown to love. Some of these things include the impossibly high-pressure showers, the noisy lounges and all the people that use the lawns as a dog park.

From one sentimental freshman to the next,

The Clog

Contact Emilia Malachowski at 


APRIL 26, 2016