Essential clubs for fall semester

Mary Zheng/File

As the summer approaches, you may be reevaluating the past year and rethinking your extracurricular activities. Which ones did you really like? Which ones have you decided not to rejoin when school starts up again in the fall? Maybe you’ve realized that your true interests lie in an as-yet-unfounded extracurricular, and have decided to start your own club for next semester. To help you out, we’ve created a list of potential new clubs for all of you over-achievers to get started on. Remember, kids, your resume isn’t complete unless you’ve added “Club Founder” to it!

Dirty white Converse survivors

This club would be a support group for everyone whose Converse — or any other type of white shoe — has lost its spotless integrity to the treacherously beer-covered floors of Frat Row. The club would feature a weekly competition in the form of Converse trivia, and the winner of the competition would receive a grand prize of (you guessed it) brand-new Converse.

CalCentral-crushed support group

Logged onto your CalCentral only to find that you’ve managed to miss your Tele-BEARS appointment (or whatever it’s called nowadays)? This is the support group for you. The new system looks like it was made by someone with the dexterity of a houseplant, and it doesn’t even bother to let you know why it’s blocking your registration. During meetings, club-goers can sob together and read “Registering for Classes: For Dummies.”

Cheap food tour guide

We’ve all had a nice stroll next to the Free Speech Movement Cafe ruined by running directly into a horde full of scared high school seniors, parents covered in every piece of Cal gear imaginable and confused younger siblings. While these classic college tours do help new admits decide if UC Berkeley is the right fit for them, we feel that the limited tour guide resources should be devoted to something much more important: finding the cheapest food on and around campus. Of course, this program should be implemented as an ASUC-sponsored club — it would help club members to pad their resumes. Nobody’s got time for Brown’s $5 fruit cup anyway.

Taxes club

While topics such as integrals and California’s long-lasting drought are undoubtedly important, it’s absolutely mind-boggling that, this far into the public education system, there’s still no class that teaches practical life skills for use in grownup life. This club could teach young delinquents such as ourselves the real-world skills we desperately need, such as how to do taxes, how to find an apartment and how to adult in general.

Contact Emilia Malachowski at [email protected].