Hollywood’s guide to an epic summer

Liz Zarka/File

Summer is upon us and with that comes three months of complete freedom to do whatever we want, unless, of course, you’re tied down by some pesky internship, job or summer classes. Obviously, one of the first things you must do is watch all those movies you had been putting on hold. If you find yourself wishing your life was as adventurous and cool as those in the movies, fret not! Follow this list, inspired by summer blockbusters, to guarantee a more interesting summer (safety isn’t quite as guaranteed).

  1. Few things scream summer break like a road trip with your best friends. Find a car and get on the road. Roll down those windows, let the wind blow in your hair and blast songs from a carefully constructed playlist to get you in that summer vibe.
  2. Pack your bags and travel somewhere exotic on a whim. Sure, the trip might end with you returning home penniless, but you could say the decision arose as a result of a quarter-life crisis and all will be forgiven — maybe.
  3. Do you have crazy family relatives? Go visit them. They may drive you nuts, but popcorn goes well with family drama. If you play by the movies, you might get lucky and “find yourself” on the way.
  4. Recreate those quintessential makeover scenes. Try out a new hairstyle and buy some funky, fresh new clothes. You’ll probably look almost exactly the way you looked before, but that’s an inconsequential fact.
  5. Get a really random, boring job. We’re talking the weird, shady kind you would find on Craigslist. How about personal bodyguard to a millionaire? Or an assistant to a mad, evil scientist? Just imagine all those potential Snapchat stories.
  6. Almost every movie seems to insist on sprinkling in a little romance. And if a movie can’t go by without a summer fling, then you too should settle for nothing less.
  7. Seek out your favorite band and use your charm and wits to sneak in backstage to meet them, but don’t stop there. Be so alluring and interesting that they invite you to tag along with them on tour.
  8. If you even vaguely resemble a famous celebrity, don’t let it go to waste. Spend the summer pretending to be them. It’s a totally plausible plan lacking any plot holes. What could go wrong?
  9. An impromptu Disney-style song with everyone joining in and intuitively knowing all the dance moves would be killer, but since this is real life, take it down a notch and perhaps settle for recreating Ferris Bueller’s classic parade scene. Or a pre-choreographed, pre-rehearsed flash mob at the very least.

See, there’s no reason why fictional characters should have all the fun. But in hindsight, if just reading this list has left you exhausted, perhaps it would be best to leave Hollywood to do all the hard work while you watch it on the screen.

Contact Zeyana Musthafa at [email protected].