The term “Berkeley bubble” exists for a reason. When you go back home and step back into the real world, you realize that some instinctive Berkeley habits may be out of place or simply unacceptable. Here’s a sampling of things that would fail to make you bat an eyelash at UC Berkeley but that would definitely make you the talk of town back home.
1. Arriving 10 minutes late everywhere
Doctor appointment? Lunch with a friend? Everyone knows that when you’re told to arrive at 2 p.m. on the dot, it’s more of a guideline. But to arrive later than 10 minutes — well, that’s just plain classless. But if you arrive any time before then, well, you’re fashionably late.
2. Running around naked during times of high stress
Is it not normal to feel the need to shed a mere social construct to let off some steam? Don’t judge us for making a statement by freeing our nips and showing off our hard-earned physiques!
3. Vandalizing Donald Trump signs
This is understandable for anyone with an ounce of concern for the future of humanity. But beware, UC Berkeley students — even if this is acceptable here, when you go back to your hometowns, it might not be met with the same cheers of support.
4. Blasting an animal slaughter soundtrack in advocacy for veganism
This was part of a protest that occurred just this semester staged by the Berkeley Organization for Animal Advocacy. While it definitely ruffled the feathers of numerous disturbed passersby, it still raised few eyebrows at the protest capital. But once you leave campus, this kind of display would be acceptable nowhere but at the gates of a factory farm.
5. Creating social media dedicated exclusively to squirrels
If you are anywhere but Golden Bear territory, you’ll be deemed a nut (no pun intended).
6. Using Tele-BEARS/CalCentral grief as a legitimate excuse to mourn
Being barred from classes you have dreamed of taking since you were a freshman such as Wealth and Poverty or Introduction to Cognitive Science is one thing, but if you can’t even sign up for the prerequisite of the prerequisite to an introductory class for your major, that is a true tragedy. Now try explaining that to your summer employer.
7. Wanting to reserve a table at the library
If you could, you would want to make a reservation at this new high-end hub known as the MLK Student Union. Try going to your local library and saving seats for your buddies while flashing your best resting bitch face at anyone who dares to intrude on your study space and wait for the brawl to break out.
8. Designating April 20 as an internationally recognized, UN-approved holiday
How absurd is it to think a day in the year so cherished by millions does not merit a day off? This is a day for abundant recreation that you and your loved ones can partake of the fresh outdoors. This is the day to forget that you have a grueling 9 to 5 full-time job to return to. As college students, having this day to indulge in our pleasures is our right! Labor Day is simply not enough to meet our needs!
Contact Angelica Zocchi at [email protected].