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The lowdown on Pac-12 mascots

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SEPTEMBER 20, 2016

We have all come to love Cal’s mascot Oski. As true UC Berkeley lovers, we find ourselves defending him despite his dorky sweater and commonly critiqued chubby physique. We at the Clog thought it would be helpful to break down what the competition’s mascots look like to further understand why Oski triumphs as the best mascot on the West Coast.

USC’s Tommy the Trojan

Honestly, why would USC make its mascot a Trojan? That’s kind of suggestive, isn’t it? Even though we know USC is referring to the other kind of Trojan, we still think it was an odd choice for a mascot. Whenever a mascot is a human being, things get a little uncomfortable. There is something way less adorable about a giant plush man in a metal skirt compared to our cute and fuzzy Oski.

University of Utah’s Swoop

OK, so Utah’s mascot is this super creepy hawk named Swoop. Even small birds like pigeons are super scary, let alone hawks. What the heck was Utah thinking with this mascot? He just looks like a deranged chicken and it’s very frightening.

University of Colorado’s Ralphie the Buffalo

So, Colorado has two versions of its mascot: the typical plush body suit mascot and a real live buffalo. Something feels a little off about using a live buffalo to storm the football field, not to mention how much it would suck for the players if they left some chips on the turf. Let’s just say there’s a reason we don’t bring a real bear to the stadium.

University of Arizona’s Wilbur Wildcat

Wildcats are just strange creatures, especially Wilbur. Wilbur wears this huge, floppy, navy blue sun hat that makes him look like he’s about to either go planting in the garden or head out on a safari. He’s just weird and we like Oski way more.

Oregon State’s Benny the Beaver

Ok, we’ll admit beavers are pretty freakin’ cute, but we don’t think that they belong on a football field. We’re sorry, but how can a large rodent efficiently cheer on a crowd? Personally, we would pay to see Benny meet the Stanford Tree — we bet the outcome would be interesting, if you know what we mean.

University of Washington’s Harry the Husky

OK, we admit Harry the Husky is a pretty bomb mascot. If you don’t think huskies are cute, then who are you? But one thing we have to say is, Oski definitely seems like he has more personality than any basic dog. We bet Harry the Husky doesn’t have a pimp walk and a baller cardigan.

UCLA’s Joe Bruin

Well, clearly we can all realize that Joe Bruin is just the annoying little cousin of Oski. And what even is a bruin? Rumor has it, it’s just a fancy European name for bear? Well anyways, we don’t buy it.

Washington State’s Butch T. Cougar

Oh wow, another cat, how creative. This mascot is just so basic.

Arizona State’s Sparky the Sun Devil

This is by far the creepiest mascot in the Pac-12 conference. First of all, what is a sun devil? This mascot looks like it’s straight out of childhood nightmares. How could you be amped up by a mascot that scares the living daylights out of you?

University of Oregon Duck

Honestly, Oregon just jacked Disney’s Donald Duck. Clearly someone is lacking creativity. The makers of this mascot must have been on quack.

Stanford Tree

Lastly, we reach the most appalling and disappointing Pac-12 “mascot,” the Stanford Tree. Stanford’s mascot is supposed to be the color cardinal, but we guess that it may be a little difficult to dress up as a color. Instead Stanford adopted its unofficial mascot, the Tree. Not only does the mascot’s costume look creepy, but why would an inanimate object cheer on a football team? It beats us.

There we have it, Oski is clearly the best mascot on the West Coast. We at the Clog hope that you have a happy game day season. Go Bears!

Marcus Gedai/File
Contact Allison David at [email protected].

SEPTEMBER 29, 2016