To the left, to the left: lessons in sidewalk etiquette

Mary Zheng/File

“To the left, to the left,” everything you own in your backpack to the left. Wrong. Though Beyonce is to God as “Irreplaceable” is to Amazing Grace, in the rules of the road, it’s imperative to always proceed to the right.

Sidewalk etiquette is a dying art here on campus, and often this lack of courtesy manifests itself as one of students’ biggest pet peeves. Walking up the hills of UC Berkeley is already a rather daunting task, and the addition of charging through a stampede of inconsiderate and preoccupied people is less than thrilling.

It appears as though our student body is in desperate need of a refresher on which side to stride on. Thankfully, we at the Clog have devised a few reminders to help make everyone’s walk, or dash, to class slightly more pleasurable.

First, if you’re walking with a group of your peers to class, please, “ladies (or gentlemen) get in formation” into a single file line so others can comfortably walk by you. Nothing is more frustrating than walking home from a midterm and nearly being trampled by a visibly happy squad, yapping away about how fabulous yoga was today.

Second, if you’re not fully awake, moving under two miles per hour and proceeding to walk in a zig-zag trajectory, please “upgrade ya” walking pace so others can make a clean and harmless pass. Don’t be that person that prevents someone from getting to Li Ka Shing Center in a timely fashion.

The third and possibly most lethal interaction is the side conversation that leads to a sudden halt in all sidewalk traffic. When you run into your BFF, it’s totally understandable that you’re so “crazy in love” that you lose your sanity when you spontaneously encounter them on College Avenue. But please remember to pull over before sharing your Oprah “ah-ha” moment with the entire sidewalk.

Overall, please keep in mind basic sidewalk social cues and all of the sidewalk community will “love you like XO!”

Contact Nichole Bloom at [email protected].