Croc catharsis

Nichole Bloom/Staff

In a world in which almost every individual owns at least one pair of white shoes, we at the Clog find it truly perplexing that not every soul owns at least one pair of Crocs. Youths everywhere have succumbed to the fascination with white footwear, leading almost every young adult to own a pair of white sneakers. 

But, white shoes are actually the worst possible investment for any sort of soil interactions. They transition from glowing clouds of joy on your feet to soggy, brown casts invading your metatarsals. We at the Clog think white Crocs should replace your white sneakers. The results will be utterly life changing.

Nichole Bloom/Staff

Nichole Bloom/Staff

You can hose them down.

The biggest downfall of the white sneaker is how it goes from zero to 100 in filth levels. Rest assured, kind reader, because of the rubbery consistency of Crocs, they can simply be washed off and return to a pearly white state in no time!

They’re equivalent to walking on pillows.

We all know that feeling of breaking in new Converse — pure stiffness, snugness and above all else, the sting of blisters. There’s truthfully nothing worse than feeling  like you’re walking in cement when breaking in new shoes. But fear not comrades, Crocs provide a pain free alternative to their sneaker counterparts and can be effortlessly broken in with or without socks.

They provide more airflow than a luxury fan.

One of the worst parts about closed-toe shoes is the stench that occurs after the heatstroke caused by claustrophobia between the foot and fabric. Crocs counter this catastrophe by providing airflow on both the top and side of the foot allowing for constant circulation inside the shoe-shaped vessel, and in turn, prevent overheating.

They’re a conversation starter.

Cleanliness, comfort and style aside, Crocs are the most quintessential example of a conversational piece in the history of fashion. These noteworthy shoes never fail to attract some attention and always provide some solid talking points on game day.

Crocs and socks will become the next Birks and socks dynamic duo.

Nothing really compares to the Croc and sock combination. In a school like Berkeley, where Birkenstocks and socks are such a run-of-the-mill sight, it’s absolutely necessary to shake up the social norms and shock your peers with an innovative combination on your phalanges.

Crocs are a lifestyle and therefore aid you in achieving nirvana.

Practicality aside, Crocs are essentially a life choice and aid one in becoming a renewed and changed individual. Quite frankly, it takes a certain degree of confidence to sport Crocs in any arena other than the shower. Even further, by diverging from the social norm, Croc-wearers show a certain sense of resilience to conformity and are always ahead of the curve regarding what’s cool, presenting themselves as true trendsetters.

Making a footwear change to these infamous rubberized creatures will not only change your style but also completely rock your world and elevate you to a whole new level of alternative aesthetics. 

Contact Nichole Bloom at [email protected].