BERKELEY'S NEWS • OCTOBER 01, 2022

UC Berkeley For Dummies

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IZZY DOERSCHLAG | STAFF

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OCTOBER 19, 2016

There seems to be a “For Dummies” book for just about everything, but is there a “For Dummies” book for UC Berkeley? We at the Clog have devised our own version specific to life at UC Berkeley. So if you feel like a dummy at UC Berkeley, stay tuned for our tips.

1. Don’t go to Crossroads during “prime time.”

One thing any UC Berkeley student knows is not to go to Crossroads, or any dining hall, from the hours of 6:30-7:00 p.m. Not only will all the food troughs be empty, but you will literally have to wait in a line for everything. Forget getting whatever the main entrée is that day, you’ll be stuck with a sandwich from the cold cuts bar.

2. Don’t walk in the center of Sproul.

If you don’t want to be bombarded by flyers and club sign-ups we suggest walking along the sides of Sproul Plaza. Sometimes we even walk up on the steps (*see tip number three) of Sproul Hall to avoid the vicious “Sproulers.” This tip is especially applicable from noon to 1 p.m. So if you’re running late to class, please keep this in mind.

3. Make sure you’re not walking into a performance.

*If you’re walking up on the steps on the edge of Sproul from Bancroft Ave., make sure there’s not a performance or demonstration going on first. Trust us, it’s really embarrassing to wind up in front of Sproul Hall if there’s a performance going on with a large crowd surrounding. Been there, done that.

4. Forgetting the pass/no pass deadline.

The pass/no pass deadline is coming up on Oct. 28. One of the biggest mistakes UC Berkeley students make is forgetting about this deadline and getting a C+ for a breadth requirement. So if you think you’re going to get a C in the class and it’s not a requirement for your major, you should seriously consider pass/no passing it. And if you’re not sure, you should check out this quiz the Clog created to help you decide.

5. Get used to seeing at least 20 squirrels a day.

If you want to get by at UC Berkeley, you have to get used to seeing plenty of squirrels. If you’re scared of squirrels, just know you’re going to have to face your fears head on. We suggest not feeding the squirrels, it really incentivizes them to stick around, get up in your face and cause a panic — we’ve seen this happen at GBC plenty of times (we’re looking at you, table full of squealing frat bros).

6. Take every class here seriously.

When people say there are no joke classes at UC Berkeley, they’re not lying. The biggest mistake you can make is not taking a breadth requirement “known to be easy” lightly. Trust us, when you get your midterm score for a class you’ve neglected all semester, you’ll understand where we’re coming from.

Even though we go to a school filled with smart people, even we could use a “For Dummies” book.

Contact Allison David at 

LAST UPDATED

OCTOBER 20, 2016