Fighting fall

Michael Drummond/File

Giants vs. Dodgers. Coke vs. Pepsi. Ali vs. Frazier. Trump vs. Clinton. History is full of famous rivalries, but the argument surrounding fall is one for the books. We at the Clog think it’s time to settle the great battle between fall lovers and haters once and for all.

The haters

There are certainly some key arguments against fall. For starters, the weather is highly conducive to the common cold. As college students, we’re tired and malnourished enough (thanks, midterms). The bipolar weather of Berkeley has our our bodies more confused than our CS61A homework for the week, and the last thing our immune needs is to be perpetually damp and cold. We can only pound Emergen-C for so long.

Fall posts on social media are the worst kinds of posts. What’s with the insatiable desire to publicize the change in seasons? We get it, you eat, sleep and barf cinnamon. The stench of pumpkin spice that’s seeping from your pores is a bit much. Those people screaming about how much they love rain from the top of the Campanile and clogging our feeds with rain photos need to be tranquilized.

Unless you’re a meteorologist, please chill with the minute-to-minute public service announcements that it’s raining. If we wanted updates on the weather we’d just look outside of the window. Once the novelty of rain wears off and you’re soaked by a car turning through a puddle and onto Bancroft, we’ll talk.

Not to mention the fact that layering is a hassle and a half. Sure you may leave the house in a Pinterest-worthy ensemble of a checkerboard infinity scarf and fashionable flannel combination, but we can assure you that glory will be short lived. After trudging endless Berkeley hills, you’re invariably going to have to strip off your scarf, sweater, flannel, rain jacket, wind breaker and beanie once you get to class.

Everyone reacts to the change in seasons as if it’s more shocking than the revelation that Darth Vader is Luke’s father. Leaves changing color is not that big of a deal, it happens every year. Fall comes and, thankfully, goes with every trip around the sun so there’s not need to raise such a fuss. Good riddance, pumpkin spice everything.

The lovers

The cooler weather means that there are more ways to hide your poor personal hygiene from the public. Long pants ensure that you don’t need to shave your legs for the next three months, and beanies turn dirty hair into a dirty little secret. Similarly, you can gain some winter weight for hibernating purposes without worrying. It’s easy to hide your new body shape in a wardrobe of oversized sweaters and hoodies.

The cold weather and rain also give you a reason to stay indoors and avoid socialization, not that we really needed another reason for flaking on social obligations. Bye bye annoying plebeians, hello Netflix and mac n’ cheese.

Anyone who complains about the rain is clearly heartless given the state’s current drought. The state needs rain like we need to do our laundry, desperately. We should all be doing the rain dance from “The Proposal” every time the heavens bless us with a downpour.

Best of all, fall means family time is just around the corner. Holiday season is drawing near and nothing beats family, food and having someone else do that laundry that desperately needs to get done.

The progression toward winter also means that we’re closer to the sacred break between fall and spring semester. The reprieve that we all live for is drawing closer as we fall more in love with Berkeley and this weather.

Contact Amanda Chung at [email protected].