Quiz: Do you have Berkeley goggles?

Maya Shen/Staff

Have you ever found yourself stopping in your tracks to check out a perfectly average-looking stranger? Or gone all head over heels for that special someone in your discussion only to be extremely disappointed when you finally wake up and smell the roses (or open your eyes, for that matter)? Well, you may just have “Berkeley goggles.” It’s a phenomenon unique to UC Berkeley, in which we seem to be trapped in a “bubble where a lesser amount of attractive people exist,” according to our friends at Urban Dictionary. So, that hottie you thought was a 10? Actually a four. If you think it might be time to check your eyesight, we at the Clog have created just the quiz for you.

  1. How many attractive people have you seen in the past week?
    1. None. They don’t exist.
    2. 1-2
    3. 3-4
    4. 5-6
    5. 7+. Beautiful people are everywhere.
  2. On a scale of 1-10, how would you rate the average attractiveness of the UC Berkeley student population?
    1. A solid -34
    2. 3
    3. 6.2377
    4. 10, obviously.
  3. What college are you in?
    1. L&S
    2. Engineering
    3. Natural Resources
    4. Chemistry
    5. Haas
    6. Environmental Design
  4. Where do you typically hang out on campus?
    1. MLK Student Union
    2. The Glade
    3. Greek Row
    4. Main Stacks
    5. Soda Hall
  5. How would you describe your vision?
    1. 20/20
    2. I can’t even read the biggest letter on the eye chart.
    3. Farsighted af.
    4. On the brink of being legally blind.
  6. Choose your favorite photo of Chancellor Dirks.
    1. dirks - kchan
    2. Dirks3
    3. dirks.kchan
    4. Dirks1
    1. Yep, you’ve got Berkeley goggles alright. You might want to hit the Tang Center and get those checked out. In the meantime, just head to Google Images and browse through the endless photos of Dirks and his unibrow. It’s the best temporary cure.
    2. No Berkeley goggles for you! Your vision is fine and you’re in the clear. Congratulations, you’re quite the realist. You’ve been able to see through the façade that is the pseudo-beauty of UC Berkeley students.

In all reality, Berkeley goggles are a weird concept. They base their existence on the idea that smart people can’t be attractive. Trust us at the Clog, you’re hot and so are many of the people on this campus. Or maybe we just have Berkeley goggles.