Hillary Clinton’s running mate Tim Kaine has been accused of being an uninteresting choice from the moment she introduced him. We mean this literally — people are accusing Tim Kaine of being extremely boring. While many speculate that this was part of the reason for Kaine’s nomination or suggest that it’s not an accurate depiction, the fact remains that this how the public perceives him — and in politics, public perception is everything. We at the Clog, however, know that this is one case where public perception is wrong. Tim Kaine is actually an incredibly exciting individual. To illustrate our point, we put together a list of the top 25 absolute most exciting things about Tim Kaine.
- Kaine was born in Minnesota, but he was raised in Kansas. Wow! That’s more of the Midwest than many people have ever seen. We at the Clog are sure that the constant corn Kaine’s used to is a far cry from the sea breezes we get here at Berkeley.
- He’s bilingual — he speaks English and Spanish. Guess he’d pass the language GE requirement pretty easily.
- Kaine is Catholic and spent nine months helping Jesuit missionaries back in the ’80s in Honduras.
- He named this time abroad as an eye-opening and life changing experience. Witnessing poverty up close made him want to help people more. Listen up, ladies, he’s a philanthropist.
- Don’t get any funny ideas, though, because he’s been happily married for the past 32 years to a woman named Anne Holton.
- His wife also began as a lawyer. What is it that they say? The couple that sues together stays together?
- He was the 70th governor of Virginia. That’s a lovely even number, divisible by 10, seven, two and 35, among others. Next time you go to divide in Math 16A, think of Tim Kaine.
- He was first elected governor in 2006, the same year that the High School Musical soundtrack was the bestselling album. Coincidence? Maybe, but we like to think that he walked out to give his inaugural address (governors have those, right?) to “Get Your Head in the Game.”
- Kaine went to an all-boys prep school instead of the typical public high school in Kansas City.
- His major ancestry is Scottish and Irish, like many people in America. He’s just like us, folks.
- He, like so many politicians, has a degree from Harvard University.
- He, like Elle Woods, specifically has a degree from Harvard Law.
- Don’t worry — he didn’t start off at Harvard. He was financially savvy in college as an economics major at the University of Missouri. Just like UC Berkeley, the University of Missouri is a public research university. We love public universities!
- When seen in public, Kaine is usually wearing a suit. What cutting-edge fashion. He would fit right in at the Haas School of Business.
- As the governor of Virginia, Kaine made some decisions and appointed some people. What governing!
- He has three children, so he has great potential to be the dorky dad vice president, as opposed to Joe Biden’s cool uncle vibe.
- His youngest child is named Annella, which is clearly a clever way of naming her after his wife without actually using his wife’s name. Creative problem solving, Tim.
- His real name is actually Timothy.
- Kaine started his law career serving as a law clerk, but he also did some pro bono work once he got going. Back at it again with the philanthropy — here at UC Berkeley, we love some liberal pro bono work.
- Kaine is super into the harmonica. He even brings the instrument to campaign events and plays it. We’re serious — dorky dad vice president.
- According to his website, he is one of only 30 people to have served as a mayor, governor and U.S. senator. Wow — he’s a triple threat!
- According to this picture, he knows how to do a fist bump. Maybe Hillary Clinton taught him? It’s an essential skill for any presidential candidate, if you ask us. Next up? Finger guns.
- His hairline appears to be receding.
- He became interested in politics during the upheaval of the 1960s. He was only 2- to 12-years-old during the sixties, but apparently they left a profound impact. We should thank the Free Speech Movement here at our very own campus for inspiring him!
- The most interesting fact about Tim Kaine is, without a doubt, if you missed it — he’s running for vice president.
Franky, we at the Clog are insulted by public opinion, and we hope that after reading this riveting list, you are too. How dare anybody call him uninteresting! Tim Kaine is possibly the most fascinating man alive, OK.
Contact Taylor Follett at [email protected].