If you’re living in the residence halls, one of the scariest things is the sight of a full laundry basket. You know, when your pile of clothes on your already filled hamper becomes so tall that you might as well have fun while you’re at it and sled down your dirty-clothes-mountain come winter. Because when your clothes turn into the Matterhorn, it’s time to venture on over to the second-most dreaded place in the residence halls (behind the bathrooms): the laundry room. And we at the Clog know that the struggle is all too real.
For starters, there’s always the risk of accidentally dropping an embarrassing clothing item (i.e. your tighty-whities) on the dirty laundry room floor when awkwardly transporting your wet clothes from washer to dryer. During this process, it’s more than likely that the clothes already on your body will become wet as you uncomfortably hold a heap of dripping clothes to prevent any sort of spillage. Or, if you decide to take the laundry basket transport route, now your laundry basket is wet. And in the process of dumping your clothes out of the basket and into the dryer, you’re bound to drop something and debate whether it’s worth it to spend an extra $1.75 on that single sock. But hey, you don’t know what’s been on the floor. Just because it’s a laundry room doesn’t mean everything’s Tide-Plus-Febreze-clean.
Now, let’s talk about the cost of doing laundry on campus: $3.75 to wash and dry a load of clothes. And if you want to split your darks and lights, double that. Or, actually, just forget about it. Just don’t wash your red clothes. Or get rid of them, because you shouldn’t have them anyway (#Stanfurd). But seriously, we’re college kids, not Chancellor Nicholas Dirks. We don’t have the public funds to come up with that many quarters.
And not to mention the fact that you consistently have to deal with broken machines. Honestly, it seems like there’s only one working washing machine and negative two functioning dryers. It’s the equivalent of a vending machine eating your money and failing to give you that candy bar you were hoping for when you pay two bucks for a drying cycle, only instead you come back to find your clothes in the same state of wetness as when you put them in. Clearly the $13,000-plus you’re paying to sleep in a closet-sized room with two other people doesn’t fund a pleasant laundry experience.
With a lack of machines and a group of impatient people wanting to get their laundry done and over with as quickly as humanly possible, the laundry room basically turns into “The Hunger Games” 2.0. If you let your laundry out of your sight, there’s no telling what one of your antsy peers is going to do with your laundry if you fail to retrieve it from the dryer as soon as the beep goes off. There’s about a 110 percent chance that, to your horror, you’re going to find your once-clean clothes sprawled out on top of the washing machines. You’ll then realize that a stranger has quite possibly touched your underwear and other delicates with their stranger-hands. Plus, who knows who vomited on the surface they put your clothes on? Saturday nights are not pretty in the laundry room. You thus enter a serious inner crisis as to whether or not you should begin the entire process of washing, waiting, drying and waiting all over again. Not to mention that $3.75.
Good luck. We hope you emerge from the Laundry Games alive, well and with a basket filled with clean, warm clothes. Until then, we are here to complain for you.
Contact Chloe Lelchuk at [email protected].