Quiz: Where are you most likely to throw up?

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Whether you’re that kid that’s showing up to lecture hungover on a Monday or you get sick from riding the 52 bus facing the other way, we’ve all felt the dreaded tummy turning on our way to class. If you’re scared that you don’t know of any good places to throw up, look no further. The Clog got together and wrote this quiz for all of you one-shot wonders out there.

  1. What’s your chug time?
    1. Sub-four seconds
    2. A solid decade
    3. What’s that?
  2. What college are you in?
    1. College of Letters & Science
    2. College of Engineering or College of Chemistry
    3. College of Natural Resources or none of the above
  3. Have you ever left lecture because you felt too nauseous?
    1. Too many times.
    2. “I’m not one to throw up and tell. …” – Obama … probably
    3. Only if I were nauseous from the great volumes of knowledge I was absorbing.
  4. Do you try to avoid people on your walk to class?
    1. Depends on how deceased I look.
    2. How early in the morning is it?
    3. Is that even a question?
  5. How shy are you about throwing up?
    1. I have no shame.
    2. Depends on if I’m sober.
    3. I need the bathroom to empty, tbh.
  6. If you were a type of pants, what pants would you be?
    1. Ripped jeans
    2. Sweatpants
    3. Leather pants
    1. You need to pretend like everything is fine on your walk to class and then swiftly jump over the bridge next to Sather Gate and yak in Strawberry Creek. Chances are you’ve done this every Thursday morning since freshman fall, so you’ve really got this whole thing down. Learning how to discreetly throw up in Strawberry Creek will serve you well in the upcoming years.
    2. You’re the type of person that needs to yak before a professional interview and prepare for the interview at the same time. Since you seem like a busy person, the best place for you to throw up is under the Haas archway. Chances are all the Haas students will be too busy reading books such as “How to make it onto Forbes 30 under 30” to realize you just threw up.
    3. Since you don’t seem like you throw up all that often, you need a very discreet place to throw up, because you’re probably shy about it. You should throw up at the corner across from International House where all the smokers usually stand, since the smokers will serve as a nice cover-up for all the vomit shooting from your mouth.

Contact Emilia Malachowski at [email protected].