Ra Ra for Gaga

Nichole Bloom/File

She’s hatched from an egg. She’s worn a meat dress. She has her own Tiffany’s commercial. She mic-dropped at Super Bowl LI.

Rah rah ah-ah-ah!

Ro mah ro-mah-mah

Gaga oh-la-la!

That’s right, little Berkeley monsters, the queen herself graced us with a beyond-electrifying halftime performance last night.

Yeah, maybe this was the first Super Bowl ever that went into overtime, but did you even watch anything after the halftime show? Were you even alive after Gaga? Plus, who cares. The Patriots won — unoriginal. 

Back to relevant news, Lady Gaga is quite possibly the only individual, besides the eventual Bachelor (Dirks), that deserves an entire Clog piece dedicated to her glory. Last night, Gaga not only reminded us how many songs we remember from our middle school years but also restored every UC Berkeley student’s faith in society.

We definitely took some Ls last week here at UC Berkeley. Our Amazon Student Store got smashed to bits, Mr. President is threatening our federal funding and our math homework just looks like a bunch of dumb symbols. But never fear, little monsters, today we regained our Queen. Let Gaga reign.

We at the Clog love sports, but let’s cut to the chase, the Super Bowl is about three things: the halftime performance, day drinking and puppy commercials (and perhaps politics this year). Lady Gaga may not have caused the Superdome to lose its power (shut out Queen B circa 2013), but she literally flew across our televisions. Yes, flew. As in mid-air acrobatics in a bedazzled leotard, flew.

Beyond defying gravity, Gaga also controlled the sky, creating a red, white and blue backdrop to greet us before she flew down to rock our worlds at sea level. Post a “God Bless America” and “This Land Is Your Land” remix, she began her crusade of badassery with a line from “Edge of Glory” and then effortlessly moved into “Poker face.” The fact that we all magically knew every word to this song just brings home the fact that middle school was truly the best musical era of our lives.

Gaga then strode into “Born this Way,” reminding all of us that no matter where we’re from, what we look like or who we are, we are all beautiful little monsters (and obviously Clog readers). To us at the Clog, this clearly was our moment to shine.

She then picked up a mysterious object that is apparently used to have actual verbal conversations with others. Spooky. We at the Clog only recognized said object when one of our favorite vintage anthems, “Telephone,” began to sound on.

Then, something magical happened at all of our Super Bowl parties. Frat stars, EECS majors, anti-sports individuals and bookworms alike all began to slowly and powerfully harmonize. Why, you may ask? The song that defined seventh grade came on. Oh yes, lads, “Just Dance” re-entered our lives and led to one of the most unifying and spontaneous moments of our college years.

Ah, alas, the grand finale. The song that unifies every little monster across the Bay and beyond: “Bad Romance.” Clearly, anyone who can appreciate Lady Gaga has been concretely dumped. Yet given the nature of her politically charged performance, us little monsters can’t help but wonder, what “bad romance” is she referring to? The bad romance of the United States and Australia now? The bad romance of the Patriots and literally every other team in the NFL they’ve crushed to win yet another Super Bowl? Or is it a shout-out to all of the single little monsters on Valentine’s Day this year?

Gaga out. Clog out.

*Mic drop* *Catches a football and jumps into the abyss*

Nichole Bloom is the assistant blog editor. Contact Nichole Bloom at [email protected].