Quiz: How many drinks can you have before you can’t jig anymore?

Derek Remsburg/File

If there’s one thing we at the Clog understand, it’s that drinking and jigging go together like fences and $700,000. What better day to show off our favorite chunky shoes in a wobbly jig than St. Patrick’s Day? So shine your clogs and shotgun a beer — it’s time to get jiggy with it.

  1. How long does it take for you to shotgun a beer?
    1. 0.3 seconds
    2. 5 seconds then immediately throw up
    3. 15 seconds
  2. What’s your stamina on the dance floor on a regular night?
    1. I’m groovin’ all night long, baby.
    2. I’ll take a couple bar trips for a break.
    3. I’m more of an observer on the dance floor.
  3. How many pairs of clogs do you own?
    1. I have a nice variety of fancy, everyday and jigging clogs.
    2. I only own one pair of clogs.
    3. I have no pairs of clogs, because I don’t know or care what true comfort really feels like.
  4. How hot and bothered do you get when Seamus in “The Luck of the Irish” jigs in his snazzy blouse?
    1. Sweaty AF.
    2. I’d like a little more chest hair showing TBH.
  5. What’s the superior type of jig?
    1. Hop jigs — the fastest of all jigs.
    2. Light jigs — the dancers’ feet barely leave the ground.
    3. Treble jigs — I love to stomp!
  6. How long can you jig when you need to pee?
    1. At least 10 minutes.
    2. Tops two minutes.
    3. I just let it all go.
  7. How drunk are you planning on getting on St. Paddy’s?
    1. Like an Irish fruitcake, boozy AF.
    2. I’ll take a few sips of Jameson to commemorate the day.
    3. I’m actually a sober monitor.
    1. You can drink indefinitely and still be jigging! You are an amazing drinker and have the stamina of a Malamute — jig on, my wasted friend.
    2. Probably just stick to a couple beers and a couple shots of Jameson today, otherwise you may topple over! Jig while you can, my wasted friend.
    3. You can probably only jig when you’re sober, but it’s a damn good jig!

Sasha Ashall is the blog editor. Contact Sasha Ashall at [email protected].