Who should you pinch (or not pinch) on St. Patrick’s Day

Crystal Zhong/Staff

St. Patrick’s day is fraught with peril. While it may seem like a relatively innocuous holiday, make one wrong move and you could wind up unluckier than a three-leaf clover. Avoid any potential disasters this St. Patrick’s Day with our handy-dandy guide of who you should and should not pinch. Éirinn go Brách, Bears!

Do not pinch…

  • your current GSI
  • your professor
  • your crabby roommate
  • the bus driver
  • the bouncer at Kip’s
  • a squirrel
  • the library monitor
  • someone’s wallet

Do pinch…

  • Oski
  • your significant other
  • a Stanford student
  • pennies
  • your cute ex-GSI
  • the person sitting in front of you in lecture
  • anyone not wearing green (unless they are on the no-pinch list)

Happy pinching!

Contact Jamie Campbell at [email protected].