How to heal if your candidate lost in the ASUC election

Rachael Garner/File

It’s finally over, Bears. ASUC election season concluded last Friday with the tabulations ceremony on Lower Sproul. For some, it was a night of celebration and joy, and for others, it was disappointing. If you’re in the latter camp, we at the Clog would like to extend our sympathies — and our best advice for coping with the loss.

Tell everyone you know about how little the ASUC matters

Maybe if you shit on the institution enough, you too will believe that the ASUC doesn’t matter. Make sure you tell your roommates, your mom and your Tinder dates that the ASUC doesn’t do any real work, and you’ll perk up in no time.

Protest the results

Set up outside Eshleman with a sign, or lead your own march throughout the offices. If you get enough people involved, you may even get some media attention. There’s always a chance that they’ll recount the votes, right? If that fails, yelling at the top of your lungs will help you feel better.

Eat your feelings

Hit up Chipotle, Asian Ghetto or Plentea and drown your sorrows in food. No one will be able to tell if you’re crying or if your Thai food was just too spicy.

Find something new to do

It’s alright that the ASUC didn’t work out, because now you can try so many new things! If you still live in the dorms, try to get in with your RHA for a similarly bureaucratic experience. Or, try out the Greek community (because it felt like every other senate candidate ran to represent it). And finally, if you just wanted to have some fun by sabotaging others, join any pre-Haas organization.

We at the Clog hope that these tips will help lessen the sting of your loss this election season. Don’t lose hope, however — there’s always next year!

Contact Jamie Campbell at [email protected].