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Get psyched for the Fourth of July

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JULY 04, 2017

With the Fourth of July very nearly upon us, it’s time to reflect and prepare for what’s perhaps the most unnecessary, but undeniably most lit, holiday of the year. Get ready for bald eagles to screech in the distance as the Liberty Bell rings out from the redwood forest to the Gulf Stream waters. The patriotism of this country is about enough to make even John Adams blush.

Every other day of the year, our Facebook feeds are full of people complaining about the state of the country. Political beef clogs our stream of corgi memes and perpetually reminds us of how much disdain people hold for the United States of America. Someone’s always fighting with someone else in the comment section. Your aunt’s coworker is going after your brother’s best friend in a bitter battle about environmental policy as everyone you know grossly overuses the angry react button.

Luckily, the Fourth of July is the one day out of the year when everyone gets off their high horse and appreciates the country we live in. Social media is inundated with patriotic posts of admiration for liberty and freedom as friends pose in enough red, white and blue to make Betsy Ross cringe. Our feeds transform from one full of complaints to one of wordy shout outs to the good ol’ USA.

It’s just impossible to have a bad time during this holiday. Science has yet to prove why the Fourth of July makes everyone so happy. Something about hearing the national anthem on a warm summer’s night can bring a tear to even the most begrudging American’s eye. The way the smell of cooked hot dogs and burning explosives makes us swell with national pride is a sacred phenomenon that we dare not mess with.

We really go in for Independence Day. Everything becomes ultra-American in preparation for the big day. Paper plates are printed to look like the flag, and cookies are decorated with stars and stripes. Bruce Springsteen’s “Born in the U.S.A.” gets more radio time in this week than it will get for the entire rest of the year combined, and we’re here for it.

Even in theory, the Fourth of July is lit. It’s basically a day off from work and school for us to barbecue and sunbathe. A federal holiday for us to go to the beach and eat our entire weight in watermelon. Let’s be real, a day dedicated to solely having a good time and basking in our freedom is our kind of Tuesday.

Canada Day came and went a few days ago and nobody noticed. Northern America’s national celebration is a merely a small party hat in comparison to the rager that we’re about the throw down. They may have universal health care, but we have the Fourth of July.

Contact Amanda Chung at [email protected].

JULY 04, 2017