What shark are you based on your major?

Jessica Doojphibulpol/Staff

In honor of the glorious week known as Shark Week, we at the Clog are ready to celebrate the only way we know how: by making shark-related content. It’s a project that wouldn’t be complete without us trying to solve the age-old question: what does my major say about what kind of shark I am?

Philosophy

Philosophy majors are people who dive into deep questions, pondering their answers. Similarly, the angel shark, too, dives deeper than many other marine animals. It’s a bottom-dweller, after all.

Media studies

Media studies majors are among the most savvy with stuff like social media and tend to be more social than most overall. This makes media studies majors similar to the lemon shark, which travels mainly in groups and benefits from enhanced communication. Also, while media studies majors are familiar with electronic equipment, lemon sharks use electroreception, an ability to sense electrical stimuli. A coincidence? We think not.

Pre-Haas

If you’re pre-Haas, your shark is the frilled shark, a dark-brown, eel-like creature which captures prey in a snakelike manner. Because the rumor is that many pre-Haas majors are snakes, the snake-like frilled shark is definitely the shark for pre-Haas students.

EECS

The hammerhead shark is intelligent. It lessens its energy expenditure by its specific way of swimming called “rolled swimming.” It conserves 10 percent of its energy doing this. The hammerhead’s innovative thinking and intelligence makes it perfect to represent EECS majors.

English

Famous writers like Franz Kafka and F. Scott Fitzgerald had an almost nocturnal schedule because of their nightly writings. This is quite similar to the nocturnal horn shark. English majors are also required to do fairly solitary tasks such as reading or writing. The horn shark is solitary too, preferring to hunt alone rather than in a group. Clearly if English majors were a shark, they’d be horn sharks.

Film

Film majors are unquestionably zebra sharks. Zebra sharks are chill creatures that spend most of the day lounging on the ocean floor. Film majors spend their days chilling while watching movies and analyzing them. It’s a match made in heaven.

Knowing which shark matches your major is a powerful form of knowledge. It is one that we at the Clog have bestowed upon you, so use it wisely. Peace, love, Clog.

Contact Melany Dillon at [email protected].